Beautifully Broken
by cherri0196
Summary: Follow Johanna in her journey after the war. Where will the girl with no one in her life go? Who will cross her path? and will she find someone to help her put the pieces of herself back together? Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Beautifully broken

Rebuilding is hard.

Having no reason to rebuild makes it even harder.

During the war against the capitol, I felt powerful, important. For years I have rebelled against them. Refused to let Snow sell my body like he did others; I let my family pay with their lives for that act of my own personal rebellion.

It felt good making hushed decisions with my fellow victors, making vows to protect a girl that just seems….I don't know? Clueless? It felt good being in the Quarter Quell, back in the arena again, I never really left the first one anyway. Yelling at the sky about the rebellion, risking my life for this girl I barely knew. Being the Martyr for the cause, I can do that. I have nothing to live for anyway.

The Capitol already took everything away from me, the last thing they can have, is my life.

Of course that's when everything went all wrong. That's when the Capitol took me.

For weeks I had to endure near constant pain, forced to listen the screams and cries of Peeta and Annie when they weren't working on me. Sometimes I would hear Enobaria too, but I was beyond caring about her.

I would willingly give my life to the capitol, a couple of times I shamefully begged them to take it. Instead I got a shaved head and electrocuted on a daily basis.

Then in the middle of the night, in a haze of explosions and knock out gas I was saved from that awful place.

Weeks more I had to work on myself. Recovering in the hospital, becoming addicted to and then withdrawaling from morphling, being forced to visit a head shrink all the time. Pffftt…like that helps.

Working day in and day out training to go back to the capitol to take it by force.

In the end, I was too weak.

The war was won, with no help from me.

So here I am, the damaged girl from District 7 whom has not a single possession to her name and no one who gives a damn.

Sure time has helped re-grow my hair, and my scars fade slightly, but really it's the emotional scars that run the deepest and take the longest to heal.

I've only recently started mastering the art of showering again.

My pathetic life consists of sitting with a slightly swollen bellied Annie in District 4, since I'm still not "stable enough to live on my own" say's my quack of a head shrink. Wish I had Katniss' head doctor; he at least let her go back to her district and live on her own. He even pretends to treat her over the phone when I know she hasn't talked to anyone for weeks.

They act like Annie, the one that is truly the unbalanced one of the two of us, is somehow watching over me. Please. I usually end up picking up the slack when she goes off the deep end, busying myself with the mundane task of cleaning, or trying to cook our meals.

I miss the trees and vastness of District 7.

The smell of freshly cut wood.

Hopefully this quack will let me get out of here soon.

As the weeks drag by I'm unsure if I can actually leave Annie alone. She is getting rounder, and checking out of her own head more often. I know she misses Finnick desperately; to be honest I do too. I think he may actually have been one of the few people left on this planet that actually liked me.

I seem to be taking care of Annie more than she's taken care of me. Maybe If I do get permission to go back to 7 Annie will agree to go with me?

One Sunday evening, Annie and I are on the front porch watching the sunset. She seems to like watching the colors dance across the sky. Often time's she'll rub her belly and mutter incoherent things to herself.

I am shocked when I see one Gale Hawthorne walking in the distance with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. At first I figure I must be imagining it but as his figure get's closer there is no mistaking it.

I stand up and lean over the porch railing, squinting my eye's until he gets in hearing range and yell "Do thine eyes deceive me? Is that Gale Hawthorne? Thee Gale Hawthorne? War hero? District 2 super star? Explosives expert? Sharp shooter? Brainy and brawny?"

For some unexplainable reason, I have always had a sort of affection for Gale; ever since I met him in 13. Even if he was visiting Katniss and totally caught me siphoning off her morphling. He has a place rooted deep in my head that I just can't explain.

"Nice to see you too Johanna" He say's calmly while he makes his way up the steps and sits down in my recently vacated chair.

"Hi Annie. How are you?" He asks.

Annie just stares at him with a polite smile on her face before turning back to the sunset.

"She's not up to talking to strangers" I say as I cross my arms over my chest and lean against the post connecting the porch floor to the roof.

"What are you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be in District 2 with Beetee, being all smart and rebuilding a civilization from the ground up or something?"

"Yeah, I am. Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"Maybe. Why are you avoiding my question?" I ask.

"What? I'm not allowed to visit a couple of friends?"

"Not like this. What's up?"

He looks weary but stands up and grasps me by my arm and gently brings me right inside the door way.

"Your head shrink wanted me to check on you. He also was wondering how Annie is dealing with the pregnancy with Finnick being….you know….gone."

I yank my arm from his grasp and say "Me and Annie are doing just fine. You could have saved yourself a lot of time and trouble if you just picked up the phone."

"Well, guess I'm not smart enough to figure how to use a telephone, so in the mean time you're stuck with me."

Much to my surprise Gale seems to be a pretty decent house guest. He graciously took the couch without a word, he help's Annie slowly come back down to earth when she has one of her episodes. He even sometime's helps me with the cooking. Of course he's awful at it and I'm not much better, but we do make edible food.

He usually fishes during the day. Which is good. Get's him out of my hair.

One evening we take Annie out on the back porch with some goat cheese and the green seaweed District 4 bread. We lay out a blanket on the sand and munch our bread for a while before Annie decides to lay down right in the middle of our little picnic.

Gale and I leave her to rest and walk down to the waters shore line. The sun is setting behind us on the front side of the house, but the water reflects the colors that streak across the sky almost perfectly; the pinks and oranges, and purples. I toe my shoes and socks off before dipping my toes in the foamy sea.

I sit down in the sand just far enough away from the water's edge that my butt stays dry but the slight rising and falling of the sea still comes up and laps my feet.

Gale sits down cross legged next to me without a word and we both just stare out into the horizon.

For a while nothing is said, however Gale breaks the silence first.

"So. Annie. She seems a little more off then the last time I seen her."

"Yeah" is all I reply.

He doesn't push it, so we just keep our eyes forward.

I let a sigh escape me before speaking very softly.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with her."

"What do you mean?"

I finally turn my head to look at him and when he looks back at me my breath catches for a second.

Anyone with eye's can see he's good looking, but the way the sunset halo's his olive skin and reflects off his grey eye's is breathtaking. I can even see flecks of light blue in his irises.

"I mean, In case you haven't noticed she's 6 months pregnant. She's going to be having a baby soon and she is just getting worse as the week's go by. She can't even take care of herself. How is she going to take care of a baby?"

He just shrugs "with help from friends I guess?"

"I hope you don't mean me. I don't know the first thing about babies, or even family for that matter." I snort. "I can't help her." I barely whisper "I can't help anyone." Then I turn away from him and put my chin on my knees.

"Johanna" He say's my name, with such force I am almost startled by the sudden change in tone but I don't show it. "In case YOU haven't noticed, you have been taking care of her all by yourself for the last 6 months."

I just shrug.

"Don't shrug at me. It's the truth, and after everything you've been through, you still remain…decent."

"Decent?" I turn my head to look at him again. "Well I guess that's an improvement from heartless, emotionless, murderous, bitch, eh?" I give him the fakest most sarcastic smile I can manage.

I don't know why he is making me feel so damn small. I'm older then he is, experienced more.

"Don't do that" He rolls his eyes at me.

"….and what about you? Huh? Where's your family? Oh god among men."

"They are in District 2. I got them out of District 13 as soon as I could and now they are all living with me. Beetee's watching over them while I'm gone."

"Same 'ol Gale, always taking care of other people. Never having anyone take care of him. Maybe we have more in common then we think." I wink at him.

"Same 'ol Johanna, always trying to act tougher than she is." He retorts.

"How dare you! Why are you here? I have been taking care of myself my whole life. I don't need you here. I don't need anyone."

"Is that how you really want to be Johanna? You're 22 years old for Christ's sake. If you want to spend the rest of your life bitter and alone then you just keep doing what you're doing, okay?"

He stands up and brushes the sand from the back of his pants before walking back into the house.

Leaving me alone on the surf as the first twinkling of the evening stars start to penetrate the twilight.

Story of my life, alone.

I sit with my forehead to my knees turning over what he said in my head.

_Who is he? really? He doesn't even know me. Doesn't know what I've been through. How dare he just come here and act like he is somehow taking care of me. It's more like I have another mouth to feed. HA! How do you like that Gale, fricken Mr. perfect Hawthorne? I'm taking care of you, you are NOT taking care of me._

I lift my head and stare out into the nearly faded glow of the sun before I have to grit my teeth and admit to myself, that he did actually have a good point. _I am still young and I have my whole miserable life ahead of me. I can choose to make it more miserable by pushing the handful of friends I actually have away, or try to change for the better._

_Making myself vulnerable….damn it. That's the last thing I want to do. _

_Okay Johanna. One step at a time. Let's start with an apology first_.

I finally get up and brush the sand off of me, gather my socks and shoes, before rousing Annie and gathering our blanket and unfinished bread and cheese. I put the heap down on the table and lead Annie to her room and help her into bed.

I scan the room for Gale but he's nowhere to be found.

I keep my indifferent face plastered on while I put the blanket and my sandy socks and shoes in the washroom and throw the half eaten bread and cheese away.

I start to do the few dishes in the sink when I spot Gale by the water's edge; the moonlight shining off his damn perfect skin.

I watch as he peels his shirt off revealing a well toned upper body before he kicks his jeans off as well. I try to pull my eyes away from the window, but it's no good.

He wades into the ocean before dunking his head under and disappearing completely.

_What the hell? Does he even know how to swim? I really don't want to go out there and rescue him. _

Just as the thought crosses my mind his head pops back up out of the water.

I watch him for a little while. Submerge and then pop back up, he floats on his back for a while and then starts swimming back and forth.

I finish the dishes and leave him to his swimming and go to get a shower.


	2. Chapter 2

I still have a hard time actually getting in the water, but usually once I'm in, I'm okay. I stand stark naked in the bathroom, with the shower running. I take a deep breath and just touch the running water with my hand to make sure it's not going to send a volt of electricity coursing through my body.

I grit my teeth and step into the shower, subjecting each of my limbs to the spray of water first before allowing myself to enter the stream completely.

I still use a special shampoo to help my hair thicken; I lather it in my hair and wash my body while the suds run down the drain.

Once I rinse all the bubbles away I quickly condition and rinse before turning the water off.

Another successful shower.

_Will I ever get over this? UGH!_

I stare at myself in the mirror. My hair has grown in, but it's still very thin. Nothing spectacular, a dark brown color, maybe a few strands of honey colored hair mixed in. Brown eyes, calloused hands from years of ax work, bitten down nails, a couple scars from my time in the arena's. My body overall isn't that bad. My breasts are pretty decent, quite large compared to my body frame. I've put some weight back on, but I'm still thin, but also curvy.

I shrug and put a towel on.

I gather my discarded clothes and make my way down the hall to my room.

By the time I get dressed, comb my damp hair and make my way back into the kitchen I see Gale standing over the sink in nothing but his soaking wet undershorts. I take in the crisscross patterns all over his back; white scars against his perfect tan skin. I see just below his right shoulder blade a long precision line. I think that's the one the doctors of 13 had to dig shrapnel out of.

He must not have heard me enter because I startle him when I place a fingertip on his back and start to trace one of the lines of the scars.

"How did this happen?" I ask, the curiosity getting the better of me.

He spins around so his back is away from me and I withdraw my hands back down to my sides.

He doesn't answer my question and instead say's "Listen, Johanna, I'm going to get out of here tomorrow. You're right; you and Annie do seem to be doing fine. So there is no need for me."

I swallow and plaster my indifferent face on, as if I could care less if he leaves or not.

"If this is about earlier, I actually wanted to talk to you about that." _Man up time, Johanna._

"Oh yeah? What did you want to talk about?" He asks with an equal air of indifference.

"I….I wanted to…I wanted to say that I'm…." I breathe a deep breath "sorry."

Gale only stares at me. Pondering if it's a genuine apology I guess.

Seems he's not letting me off the hook easily because he responds with "and?"

"…and I wanted to say that you were right….and that's about all you're getting out of me. Now are you going to get dressed or just stand there half naked?"

"Think I'll just stand here half naked, thank you for asking."

I only roll my eyes and hop up on the counter top.

We stay up talking a while longer. He tells me how he was whipped within an inch of his life, which is why he has all those scars on his back. I in turn tell him about the scar I got on my knee from my time in the first arena.

He eventually goes to get a shower and I go to bed.

In the morning he doesn't leave.

Over the next few months we somehow tolerate each other. We spend a lot of our time talking; he spends less time fishing and more time walking the shore line with me and Annie. The wide range of topics amazes me; the things he can come up with as a topic of conversation. We share our experiences with each other, about our lives, about our families, how mine ceases to exist anymore because of me, our districts, our school life, I talk about the arena, he talks about the war in the capitol and about his time in the woods. Everything from the color of a flower to the complexities of statistical grid patterns in the nut of District 2. I start to realize I'm not the only one broken and damaged. Gale is too. Maybe he hasn't been forced into the games, or had his whole family annihilated, but he's lost his father, and had the whole weight of his family to support on his back since the age of 13.

We of course find things to argue about, two people that voice their opinion so openly as we do are bound to fight. Sometimes we don't talk for days, sometimes we'll debate for hours until the other breaks, which is no easy task.

We also tend to avoid topics, like my capture and torture, and his guilt over Prim, or Katniss or just anything in general that will drudge up memories that are just too painful.

Overall however we seem to be very similar, especially when it came to our views of the capitol. Glad I'm not the only one that has been raging about it for years. Sometimes I feel myself getting too close to him and I hold myself back. I tell him I don't feel well or I'll just up and disappear for a few hours. I can't afford to get close to him; he can just up and leave anytime he wants to. Go back to his family, go back to District 2 and I'll be here with Annie and a new baby that should be here very soon. I try to tell myself that I don't really care if he leaves, but somehow I just can't bring myself to actually believe that. So I distance myself, remind myself to just stick to the friend thing. No expectations, no disappointments. I just can't get that damn affection for him out of my head. He somehow rooted himself in there and I can't figure out how to get him out or even why he is in there in the first place.

I try not to think about him much, Annie however, seems to be getting slowly better. She still has her up's and down's but she is having longer periods of time being lucid. She even painted half of her room blue and with Gale's help (ok Gale mostly did it), built a crib.

One perfectly bright and sunny afternoon me and Gale were out back; he was trying to teach me how to fish, when I hear Annie yell for me. I hand Gale the pole and rush inside to see a puddle of water on the floor between her legs.

"It's time" she tells me, like I'm prepared for this.

"GALE!" I yell "GALE! GET IN HERE AND CALL A HEALER!"

He comes rushing in looking wildly around with the fishing pole still in his hand, while I'm trying to get Annie to lie on the couch.

I can hear him yelling on the phone while Annie squeezes my hand.

Gale gets off the phone and brings her a damp cloth and lays it across her forehead.

"He said he'll be here as soon as he can. In the mean time he said to keep her calm and to practice breathing exercises with her."

"Breathing exercises? Is he fricken kidding me?"

_Breathing? What a quack of a healer!_

Annie is panting and squeezing my hand every few minutes and after what seems like hours the healer arrives and Gale quickly vacates the house.

He checks on Annie and say's it's going to be about time to push soon.

I try to leave, not wanting to experience this when she grasps my hand tighter.

"Don't leave Johanna! Please." She looks at me with those pleading green eyes and I can't leave her.

"Of course not, Annie." I sit back next to her while the healer gets out herbs and blankets and all sorts of tools from his bag.

He sets a huge white sheet under her, draping it over the couch.

He uses some kind of fluid to clean or whatever down there before he puts a pair of glasses on his nose and snaps on blue gloves and checks her again.

"Okay, now it's time to push Annie." He tells her.

I just try to avert my eyes to the ceiling and mutter words of encouragement to Annie when I can.

I feel soooo awkward and out of place sitting here, witnessing the birth of my dead friend's child. I let Annie squeeze my hand as much as she likes.

Very soon I hear a wail of disapproval as the baby is placed on Annie's chest and wiped down with some blankets from the healer.

"It's a healthy baby boy!" The healer announces and Annie is in tears and I can see why.

The screaming little being looks exactly like his father. Bronze colored wisps of hair, a dimple in just the right spot, his nose, his ears, everything right down to his sea green eyes.

The healer clamps and snips his umbilical cord before going back to doing whatever it is that he's doing down there.

I get the baby a new blanket and Annie wraps him up, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes.

I try to run the cloth Gale brought her down her face. I always feel so awkward when people cry. I don't know what to do or say.

Once the healer is done he wraps everything in the big white sheet, that isn't so white anymore, and throws everything away. He even cleans up the water on the floor where Annie's water broke.

_Talk about service._ I think to myself.

He asks if there is anything else he can do and Annie just shakes her head.

He offers his congratulations and exits the front door.

She is extremely lucid, almost like a perfectly normal person. Motherhood must come naturally for some because she just cradles her baby's head to her breast and rocks and sings to him.

I make my hasty exit, seeing everything is fine and flee to the pier that isn't even a half mile away.

I crouch down and enter the space between the sand and the wood overhead and just ball up, while still in sitting position and cry.

I don't cry like a normal person, it's not wails of grief, or wracking sobs, it's silent tears that stream down my face as I try to control my breathing.

I sit like that for a good 20 minutes before I feel someone squeeze in next to me.

I choke back my tears and smile up at Gale, while trying to brush the tear stains off my cheeks at the same time. I act like I'm perfectly fine; my smile almost even seems real.

_Happy tears, yeah, that's what it is._

Gale seems to not need to hear an explanation however and simply puts his left arm around my shoulders.

I stiffen for a minute, unsure how to react before I lean into him and allow my head to fall on his right shoulder.

I simply concentrate on getting my breathing under control and allow a couple more tear drops to escape my eyes before sucking it up.

"Did you see the baby yet?" I ask Gale, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, Annie looked really good. She seems to have just snapped out of her little alternate universe she escapes to. The baby looks healthy too, boy right?"

I just nod my head.

"Are you going to tell me what's the matter?" He asks.

"Nothing's the matter, I'm fine. Happy."

"No you're not." It was a simple statement of fact, not a challenge to prove him wrong.

I sigh, resigned.

"He looks exactly like Finnick" I whisper.

"Yeah, he does." He whispers back. He continues in his normal voice "But that's a good thing isn't it? I mean it's like he's here with us."

I pick my head up off his shoulder and look at him to see if he's trying to B.S. me, but I can see he is being sincere.

He takes me by complete surprise when he leans over and kisses me on my cheek before offering me his hand to shimmy out of my hiding spot.

We walk back down to Annie's house in the surf; I keep my head down, the shame of crying in front of Gale too embarrassing to even think about.

He says nothing however.

We make it back and I head straight for the kitchen to start making dinner, also to avoid Gale and his knowing stares.

Annie is perfectly content in motherhood; little mini-Finnick fast asleep in her arms.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Annie announces she named the baby Finnick Odair, Jr.

_Like I didn't see that one coming. _

She even made us all breakfast; real, well cooked food. Eggs and toast, fresh squeezed orange juice, which I have no clue where she got, even sausage links. It was so good and I ate very un-ladylike, sucking the grease off my fingers.

Annie floats around the house humming to herself, cleaning the kitchen and tending to the baby. I'm not sure I have seen her this happy before, well maybe on her wedding day.

I shower; doing my little water dance ritual, towel myself off, get dressed, brush my hair and teeth and dump my pajamas in my room.

When I come back in the living room Gale's sitting on the couch with Annie, holding Finnick, Jr. while Annie just watches over her baby, like a hawk.

When Gale see's me, he whispers something to Annie and hands the baby back to her before making his way over to me.

"Can I talk to you?" He asks.

_That's never a good sign_, I think to myself, but I just smile and say "sure."

He walks out on the back porch and I follow.

He turns and very bluntly say's "I know this isn't the best time with the new baby and all but I have to go back to District 2. I spoke to my mother last night and she said Beetee needs me in the nut for a project and she said Posy keeps asking about me. I have to go see my family and help Beetee."

My heart falls slightly but I keep my smile on my face and reply with a simple "okay"

"It should only be for a few weeks, I'm just unsure when…."

But I just cut him off and wave his explanation away "no need to explain Gale, you're a big boy."

I turn to leave but he grabs my arm, forcing me to look at him. I feel my face void of emotion when I turn back to him.

He narrows his eyes at me before adding "I was just going to say I'm unsure when exactly I'll be back."

"Okay Gale" Is all I get out, I can feel my stupid heart galloping in my chest and I wonder how he can't hear it.

He lets go of my arm and I make my way back inside, check on Annie and busy myself with cleaning. I try to pretend I don't see Gale packing his bag out of the corner of my eye.

That very afternoon he slings his duffle bag over his shoulder and walks out of my life the same way he recently entered it; walking down the beach with that damn bag over his shoulder.

Just like that, he was gone, just like I knew he would be.

That night I allow myself to silently cry in the shower. _Pathetic, ridiculous, weak Johanna, shedding tears over some guy. What the hell is wrong with me?_

After that I keep busy. For weeks and weeks I help Annie with the baby, though she doesn't seem to need much help, go back to my routine of cooking our meals, cleaning the already clean house. Sometimes I go out back to try fishing, sometimes I go down to the pier.

It amazes even me how replaceable I am. I am unimportant, unneeded, redundant.

I walk the shoreline, pick up shells, draw doodles in the sand with a stick.

My life just gets more pathetic by the day. Annie could live on her own completely fine; she is like a completely different person now Finnick, Jr. has made his appearance.

One evening Annie even beckons me to the table and suggests we send a picture of Finnick, Jr. to Katniss and Peeta, so we do. She writes them a letter in her pretty, girly handwriting. Even writes a little P.S. that I say hi too, even though I didn't.

She tries to get me to talk, but I don't.

I call up my head doctor and yell at him on the phone instead. I demand to be let go back to District 7, but in the end whatever progress he thought I have made recently ended up being lost.

Back to square one. Guess screaming like a lunatic didn't help my case much.

I go to bed and curl up, telling myself that I don't miss him, but I do and I hate myself for it.

The next few days go by much like the same. Finnick, Jr. is getting bigger and gaining more of a personality. He giggles and coos at his mother when she swoons over him. He still sleeps a lot being only 7 weeks old, but during his times of wakefulness he is super alert and almost always happy.

I've gotten much better at cooking, with some advising from Annie. We practically have a stock pile of frozen meals, since that's what I tend to do to pass the time, stuffed in the freezer. I wrap up and attempt to shove one more meal into the freezer before Annie makes the suggestion we hand them out to some of the neighbors with small children. She floats off, since I'm not exactly "social", and takes an armful of frozen food with her, while I stay with a sleeping Finney.

When she gets back she starts knitting baby booties, and I take back off down the beach.

I sit in the sand halfway between Annie's and the pier tossing any nearby shells into the water.

I was finally starting to allow my anger towards Gale to bubble to the surface. I mean, really, not even a phone call in almost 2 months. I tell myself he's not coming back, him and his empty words.

I am so lost in thought I literally jump, gasp, turn and cock my fist back in near unison as an intruder taps my shoulder from behind.

"Whoa" Gale says, shooting his hands down to the thighs to block my punch that never comes.

"Jesus! Are you crazy? Trying to get your head smashed in?" I yell at him.

"Well this has been an even less welcome then the last one I got."

"Stop sneaking up on me then." I retort.

The stupid smirk that crosses his stupid angel face make's all the anger I have been feeling towards him subside and my traitor heart starts galloping again.

"Okay, okay, sorry. Can I sit? Or are you going to bash my head in with a rock?"

"Sit" I tell him.

He does and that initial awkward silence envelops us.

What do you say to someone you haven't seen or heard from in weeks that you may or may not be harboring feelings for?

As usual he breaks the silence first.

"Finnick, Jr. is getting big."

"Yeah"

"Annie say's you've taken to calling him Finney."

"Yeah" I reply again, keeping my eyes on the sand.

"It's kindda cute" He leans sideways and nudges my shoulder with his shoulder "didn't think you had it in you."

This brings a smirk to my face and I shrug.

"So how's District 4 been treating you?" He asks

"You know, same 'ol, same 'ol" I reply, "How was District 2?"

"Good, Beetee's project took longer than expected. We we're figuring out how to wire the whole nut for electricity, making better ventilation systems, stuff like that. I also was drafted to help break up and drag out sheets of rock and all their old electronics. It's pretty much like a stripped, bare house now."

"….and your family?"

"They're great! Never seen them happier. My mother is working from home, mostly you know, house hold duties with 3 little kids, but she also helps in the nut when she can. Rory and Vick have put on weight, and have taken to wrestling each other. They aren't the little boy's they once were, and Posy…..she turned 6 while I was there. She's just great, talk's non-stop about her dolls, and how nice Beetee is and how much she loves school, and just everything in District 2."

"Sounds like you miss them, why did you come back here?"

He just shrugs and allows a pause before saying "Because I said I would, I guess."

_Because he said he would, he guesses. Wow. What an answer. He has no obligations here, he should have just stayed. He must not be off duty from my head shrink yet, still forced to watch over me._

As I decided months ago I will try to make changes, albeit small ones, for the better I don't voice this aloud.

I just keep my face forward as silence settles between us again.

We eventually make our way back to Annie's and our old routine quickly comes back into play. He helps me in the kitchen and is shocked at my new culinary skills, we eat, Annie make's chit chat and we laugh and pass Finney around. Annie goes off to bathe Finney and they fall off to bed early while I get the dishes done and Gale goes to shower.

Since I'm trying out this whole change for the better thing, I get out some sheets and a pillow case from the linen closet and make up the couch for Gale. I even decide to give him one of my pillows off my bed and sneak away to my room without sticking around to say goodnight.

Weeks go by and it's almost like he never left. We fish, collect shells, and walk on the beach, usually without Annie anymore since she stays with Finney, saying the sun's too strong for his sensitive skin. We cook, and swim, and talk late into the night, never finding a lack of conversation. I start, unfortunately, feeling closer to him again.

One evening we're knee deep in the ocean behind Annie's house when he starts trying to splash me. I slowly back out of the water before I throw a shell at his head and he chases me down the shore with a fistful of wet sand as retaliation.

I'm faster than him, but not by much. I turn to stick my tongue out at him and very graciously trip in a hole, twisting my ankle in the process, and fall face first in the sand.

I chose some of the loveliest curse words District 7 had to offer as I turn myself over onto my back.

Gale drops the wet sand that was in his fist and kneels in the sand by my feet.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Gale, I'm fucking peachy."

He just rolls his eyes at me and tests my right ankle.

I sit up, fold my arms across my chest and furrow my brow as I watch his hands delicately probe my ankle.

"I think it's sprained" He concludes "Think you can walk on it?"

Being the stubborn ass I tend to be I snap "Of course I can walk on it."

I try to get up with as much dignity as I can manage but of course my ankle gives a painful throb and gives out on me after I make it two whole steps.

I lift my chin high and try limping, putting as much weight on my left leg as possible.

That doesn't work either, I only make it about another 4 or 5 steps.

Without a word Gale comes up from behind me and scoops me up; one arm behind my back, one arm under my knees.

I gasp aloud and hold onto him for dear life as I experience a flashback so intense I feel like it's real.

All the sudden I am back in the bowels of the capitol, in my cell, with my shaved head, wasted body and broken mind. Somewhere in the haze of my subconscious I remember the night of my rescue, Gale carried me out of that hell hole, just as he's carrying me now. He saved me; he rescued me from my torturers. No wonder he rooted himself so deeply in my brain.

My traitor eyes decide to follow my traitor hearts lead and betray me by welling up with unshed tears as Gale lays me down on the couch, sitting on the edge next to me.

"What is it? Is it that painful? Maybe I was mistaken, maybe it's actually broken."

I just shake my head no, unable to speak, trying to will my tears away.

I fold my hands together and lay them on my chest, staring unblinkingly up to the ceiling trying to get my damn tears under control.

I feel one single tear fall from the corner of my eye and slide down my temple.

I try to pretend it's not there, but I can feel Gale's eye's boaring into me, judging me, _little weak Johanna has emerged yet again._ Just before I go to brush it away I feel him run the pad of his thumb across my temple, brushing it away himself.

Once I feel I have my voice under control, I say, barely audible "You saved me."

"Hardly" he replies "I just carried you home from the beach."

"No, Gale. You saved me from the capitol. I could never figure it out; for months and months and months, I tried wracking my brain as to why I seemed to have some unexplainable…..fondness….of you. Now I know why."

My body seems to be doing as it pleases, because my right hand reaches out and I place my palm against his left cheek.

I smile a weak smile up at him briefly before removing my hand and averting my eyes back to the ceiling.

Annie makes an appearance and Gale quickly gets up from the couch and fills her in on my hurt ankle and she immediately busies herself with doctoring me up. She puts a cool cloth compression on my ankle, wraps it up and props it up on a couch cushion.

It really doesn't hurt all that bad now that the throbbing has stopped.


	4. Chapter 4

I must have fallen asleep because I wake up sometime in the middle of the night with a full bladder. I try to let my eyes adjust to the dark before attempting to hobble down the hall to the bathroom.

After, I limp over to the fridge and pour a glass of goat milk, and munch on some cookies Annie made a couple of days ago. I don't even bother to sit at the table; I eat them, standing right at the counter.

I just stand there soaking my cookies in the milk to soften them up a bit when I see a light click on in my bedroom and Gale emerges from its depths in just his undershorts.

He rubs the palms of his hands in his eyes to wipe the sleep way and says in a thick voice "Why are you up?"

"I could ask you the same thing; it's like 3 in the morning."

"I woke up from a bad dream so I figure I'd check on you; make sure you didn't fall off the couch or anything."

"Nope, I didn't. I even made a snack all by myself. Now maybe I can forcibly take my bed back from you, wanna go a round for it? Bet I can beat you with one leg tied behind my back."

"You wish Mason."

"Are you ever going to put clothes on Hawthorne?"

"Smooth change of topic, and for your information, it's the middle of the night and this is how I sleep, if that's okay with you." He pauses and rakes his eyes down my body before adding "and in case you haven't noticed, you're only in one of my shirts and YOUR underwear, so really…you don't have much room to talk."

I look down at myself and see he's right, my legs and at least three quarters of my thighs are completely bare. "What the hell? How did I get in this?"

"Don't worry, Annie changed your clothes for you. She just grabbed the first thing that was readily available, which just happened to be my shirt."

I just shrug like it doesn't matter, but honestly I'm glad Gale hasn't seen my body in the shape it's in. Major change from the old Johanna that would strip bare in elevators and oil up her breast's in front of 23 other victors. My body wasn't so bad then; I was a healthy weight, full head of hair, less scars, and a much more intact mind.

I offer him a cookie but he declines it. He just stares at me.

"What?" I look behind me to see what he's looking at.

"Nothing" He replies.

"You're not going to get all weird on me now just because I remember about that night in the capitol I hope."

"Nope, not weird at all. I was just surprised you actually told me about it."

"Yeah, well it kind of just came out. I was in pain; I had no control over my actions."

"We just never talk about it is all." He says.

"What's there to talk about?"

"Come on Johanna, you were held there for weeks."

"I don't want to talk about it Gale."

"Okay, fine. But, if you decide you want to talk about it, I'm….here."

"Okay"

"Okay" he echo's.

"Can I just tell you one more thing….and I'll leave you to your cookies?" He asks.

"Have at it" I brace myself for the worse.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" He asks me completely straight faced and totally unabashed.

I choke momentarily on my cookie.

"In the sun" he continues "your hair has red highlights in it, and your eyes have little flecks of golden brown in them and the ring right around your pupil is dark blue, also if you look really closely you have the faintest dispersion of honey colored freckles across your nose and cheek bones."

I was fully prepared to wave him off, come back with something like "You're delusional" and push past him and reclaim my bed, but for some reason "Why are you telling me this in the middle of the night, Gale?" comes out instead.

"I don't know, you kind of opened up to me a bit today, so I figure I would return the favor. There's no one around to hear us, and I guess it's better than just not being said at all." He shrugs and says "enjoy your cookies" before turning to vacate back to my room.

Without consent my mouth shouts out to him "Your eyes have flecks of light blue in them, too."

He stops mid stride, turns on his heel and we are both staring at each other from across the room.

I allow my eyes to fall to the floor.

Before I know it, Gale is standing directly in front of me with the knuckle of his forefinger lifting my chin up to look at him.

In one swift, fluid motion he leans in and presses his lips to mine.

I am taken aback, I hesitate for a second before I wrap my arms around the back of his neck and return his kiss.

Just like that our friendship shifted into something completely different.

His lips were so warm and soft, which is surprising considering how rough he is on the exterior.

He backs me up against the fridge, pinning me there with his body, pressing his lips to mine.

I haven't kissed a male like this since I was 16 years old; before I got reaped, back when I was just a, mostly normal, teenage girl.

Haven't been touched by the opposite sex since.

The sudden contact sends a rush of heat flushing through my body.

Before I know it, we're both panting for breath, foreheads resting against each other.

My heart is pounding wildly in my ribcage.

"I'm sorry" He breathes.

"For what?" I lift my head away from him.

"You're hurt, I shouldn't have."

"I'm not that hurt." I retort

He smirks that smirk that is solely his and kisses me again, very gently this time.

He picks me up like he did before and carry's me over to the couch.

Lays me down and pulls the sheet up to my neck before kissing me on my forehead.

"Hey!" I protest "I want my bed back."

"Tomorrow" He says "Go to sleep."

I close my eyes but peak one open and watch him go back to the kitchen and rinse out my milk glass and put the cookies away before clicking back off the light in my bedroom and assumingly falling back asleep.

I on the other hand stay up for who knows how long and turn everything over in my head.

Questions race themselves around in my head, _what happened? What does it mean? Will things change in the morning light? Or will we just pretend it didn't happen?_

My eyes fall heavy just as the soft orange glow of sunrise peeks through the back window.

I wake up to the sun fully risen, I'm assuming it's close to noon as Annie seems to be making lunch, experimenting with something she calls grilled cheese.

I limp down to the bathroom, wash my face, and brush my hair and teeth. I limp down the hall and press into my room; I change out of Gale's shirt and put my own clothes on. Maybe I put my shorts on slower then some, but I mange fine.

Annie hollers at me to grab Finney from her room, so I make my way across the house to her room and lean over the railings on his crib and tickle his belly while he just smiles up at me, making those dimples more prominent.

"Hey Finney" I croon to him "listen, my ankle's still a little sore, so no wiggling around, okay?"

He just smiles and coo's up at me.

I test my ankle by putting some weight on it. It seems okay; sore, but functional.

I lift him out and change his diaper before leaning him against my left shoulder and hobbling out to the kitchen. Gale's sitting at the table with his grilled cheese while Annie cleans the fish he must have caught.

I guess he seen that I was slightly struggling with the extra weight because he shoots right up and takes Finney from me.

Annie just says "Oh, Johanna, I'm sorry, I forgot you hurt your ankle."

"Don't worry Annie; it feels better today, I even changed him and everything." I smile.

"Thanks Johanna."

Once I sit and take the pressure off my ankle I offer to take Finney back. "I'll hold him Gale, you can eat."

He hands him back and resumes his lunch while I bounce Finney gently on my left knee.

He starts gnawing on his little fists and Annie insists that he's hungry, so I have to hand him over.

I start to eat my grilled cheese, which is surprisingly pretty good, while Gale finishes his up and puts his plate in the sink.

"When you're done, can you meet me out back?" He asks me.

"Yeah, Gale, I'll be out in a little bit."

He just turns and walks out the back door. I watch him for a minute before finishing my sandwich.

I drink some water and thank Annie for lunch before heading out back.

I see Gale sitting in the sand a little way down the shore so I try to limp down there best I can. Really¸ I think my limp is less noticeable anyway.

I reach the spot and sit next to him without a word.

We fall back into that silence again, only Gale doesn't break the silence this time. Instead, he simply slips his right hand into my left and laces our fingers together.

I don't know how to respond to that so I just let him do it and keep my eyes forward.

We sit like that for a few minutes, with unspoken words floating between us. Neither one of us is really good at this stuff.

_Over the last few month's that I've gotten to know him, I do know that he has never had a proper girlfriend. Made out with half of District 12, yes….but a relationship, no. And me….me and my one whole boyfriend that I've had in my life but, that was a long time ago, and I was a teenager, that hardly counts. I have been completely and utterly alone for over 6 years; it's what I know, what I'm accustomed to, what I tell myself I want. _

He pulls me out of my head when I hear him ask "So, do you want to talk about last night? Or are we just going to pretend it didn't happen?"

Ah, Gale, always so blunt and to the point.

"Well, what do you want to talk about?" I ask.

"I don't know Johanna, did we make a mistake? Should we even try to make this work? Do you want to just stay friends and leave it at that? There is lots to talk about."

"Do you think we made a mistake?"

"No, I have definitely been wanting to kiss you for a while now. That definitely was not a mistake."

_How does he expect me to handle this situation? In less than twelve hours he has told me he thought I was beautiful, and now he's telling me he has been wanting to kiss me for a while? How long is a while?_

I feel overwhelmed at the moment and I can feel my heart rapidly beating again, but I reply with a smile and an "Okay than, let's take it one day at a time, and go from there."

Days however quickly turn into weeks and much to my surprise we seem to be more than tolerating each other. I think we may actually be starting to like each other.

We've had an unspoken agreement to take things slow, and to keep whatever we are experimenting with to ourselves.

The days pass by much like the same way they did before he kissed me. We still fish and swim and collect shells, but it's very different on this level. We do these things holding hands, or sneaking kisses. Sometimes we still bump into each other late at night and have heavy make out sessions. Sometimes we just stay up late talking like we used to.

Gale's taken to calling his family almost every night, but usually every other. I noticed it helps balance him more. I know he misses his family, but this is his way to still stay close to them even if he isn't physically there.

I find it endearing, having people that actually love you in the world. Sometimes it almost hurts when I overhear parts of his conversation knowing I'll never have that, knowing I have never had that.

Just this week Gale has made a habit out of sneaking into my bed. One night he just propped his pillow next to mine, pushed me over from the middle of the bed and fell asleep.

He's either a very good fake sleeper or he's getting braver because just last night he slung his arm across my hips and pressed his chest up against my back. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was trying to cuddle me.

This is very rocky and dangerous territory. It's little things like that, that make me nervous; start feeling too attached, too soft, too vulnerable.

So what do I do? I spend the next two days avoiding him like the plague. I try to keep to my room as much as possible, pull myself back, and remind myself not to get too attached to him.

I almost get away with it too.

The night of the second day however, he knocks on my bedroom door after I declined dinner.

"Can I talk to you?" He asks

_Here we go again_. I think.

I don't answer and just walk past him and out the back door onto the beach.

He closes the back door behind and approaches me.

"What's your problem?" He asks.

"I don't have a problem. What's your problem?"

"Johanna, you haven't talk to me in two days. What's wrong? "

"Nothing Gale"

"You know, I don't know how you expect to make, whatever it is we have going on here, work when you won't talk to me. I haven't done anything to you."

"No one said you did."

"You don't have to say it Johanna, look how you're acting."

"How am I acting Gale?" I reply, I'm so eerily calm, I'm almost scaring myself.

"Like a scared little girl, that's how."

My calm exterior shatters into a fit of rage as I scream at him "SCARED? I'm not scared of anything! I've taken everything the capitol has thrown at me, and here I am, still standing!"

His patience with me dissolves pretty quickly too because he is raising his voice as well "Oh and you think you're living a perfectly normal life, do you? You may still be standing here but you're not living Johanna. There's nothing left to fight, why are you still trying to fight?"

"I'll fight until every last person that supported Snow is dead! You don't know what he took from me! You don't know anything about me!"

"Maybe I would if you would tell me!" He yells back at me.

"What do you want me to tell you Gale? HUH! You want me to tell you how Snow tried to force me into prostitution like Finnick? Huh? Want me to tell you when I refused to do it how he killed my mother right in front of me? Oh how easy it was to restrain a 16 year old, I was helpless to do anything! Or how about I tell you how he killed my boyfriend, just because he had the misfortune of knowing me? Or how my Dad got into an "accident" at work and never made it home? Or both my sibling's? All gone in a matter of a week. Or how about we move onto the more recent horrors of my life? Yes? Want me to tell you how him and his peacekeepers held me down and shoved a razor blade to my scalp, taking all my hair with it? Want me to tell you how every. single. day. they used a pressurized hose on me, drenching me from head to toe, causing every inch of my skin to bruise, before they spent hours at a time taking turns electrocuting me? How weak I was to prevent it? Each current they sent racing through my body was excruciating. Every day, they broke me." I can feel the sting of tears behind my eyes, but I absolutely refuse to cry. Not this time. I grit my teeth and finish with "are you happy now Gale?"

I lock my jaw and stare directly at him, fists balled up at my sides.

I feel almost satisfied when I see I have rendered him momentarily speechless.

His voice softens but he still remains stubborn when he says simply "No Johanna, I'm not happy."

He just turns and leaves me there.

Big shocker, yet again I'm alone.

I stand out there stubbornly for a few minutes longer, trying to get my racing heart under control.

By the time I go inside Gale is in the shower and I lock myself in my room.


	5. Chapter 5

When morning comes Gale's gone.

I pad over to the kitchen, pour some oats into a bowl and add warm milk to it before bringing my breakfast to the table. When Annie makes an appearance with Finney I make a comment, with an air of not really actually caring about the answer, asking her where Gale is.

"Gale went out early this morning. Didn't say where he was going, but he had the fishing pole with him."

I just shrug like I could care less.

I watch as she puts Finney down in his wooden made highchair, he's starting to sit up on his own a little more, and she say's it helps build his back muscles.

She sits at the table in the chair next to me and puts her hand on top of mine.

"Johanna" she says in that sing song voice.

"Hummmm" I answer, trying to shove more oats in my mouth so I won't have to talk to her.

"I heard you two yelling last night."

I just shrug again, while I chew my food.

"Is that what you want Johanna? Do you want me to pretend I didn't hear you guy's fight? Or do you want me pretend that I have been completely oblivious to the fact that you two have been sneaking around kissing each other every chance you get? Or that I don't see you guy's walking down the beach holding hands? Or the fact the he seems to make you happy?"

I swallow and try to deflect this conversation.

"It doesn't matter Annie, it's unimportant."

"Unimportant?" She's starting to get a little shrieky, guess everyone has short patience with me these days. "Have you for one second, stopped and asked yourself, why he is here?"

"I have asked him! My damn head shrink sent him to check up on me and YOU. I owe him nothing, he's here on orders!" I try to defend myself, but maybe Annie didn't need to know that was why he was here.

"That was almost 9 months ago, Johanna" She says sternly. "Your doctor hasn't given him any orders for months! His whole family is in District 2! He has no obligations here, so why do you think he stays?"

She starts to calm, and she almost sounds rational in her argument.

I have no answer for her.

"He stay's because of you, Johanna. He has given up everything to be here for you, and this is how you treat him?" She lowers her voice, back to her normal sing song melody.

She just shakes her head "Just think about it, okay Johanna?"

And she leaves it at that.

I finish my breakfast, quickly get dressed and head to my hiding spot under the pier.

I run everything over in my head and wonder if she's telling me the truth_. Is Gale really staying here in District 4, away from his job and his family just for me? And I treat him like he's pesky fly that won't leave me alone?_

_If this is really the case, I owe him a huge apology. _

I hide there for hours and hours, I just think and splash my feet in the water, and toss shells. I decide Annie is right, and I'm….I don't know, there are no words harsh enough to describe what I am.

By the time I head back home it's nearly dinner time and I realize how starving I am, with no lunch in me.

I walk in the back door and hear Annie say "Ah there she is."

I look up and see Gale staring at me from the kitchen table.

"Dinner's almost ready" Annie goes on "Gale caught some really good fish today, It's baking it now."

"Okay, thanks Annie. I'm just going to go wash up."

I head over to the bathroom and rinse the sand off my feet. I brush my hair and teeth, since I neglected to do it this morning in my haste to get out of the house.

When I return to the kitchen, our fish are served on individual plates and I sit without a word and start eating.

Annie doesn't even attempt to make conversation, so we all just eat in silence.

The fish is really good, and whatever Annie seasoned it with make's it taste amazing. I don't offer them my compliments though. I turn over in my head how I'm going to apologize to Gale. What I can possibly say to him.

Annie finishes first and cleans up her place setting and then grabs Gale's finished plate from him and washes them in the sink. I finish shortly thereafter and go over to the sink and hand Annie my plate.

_Well, guess I've put this off long enough._

My heart thuds in my chest when I ask Gale if I can speak to him. He would have every right to deny me but he doesn't.

We head back outside to the spot half way between Annie's and the pier before I sit in the sand and he sits down next to me.

I know he won't break the silence first this time.

"So….." I try to start. "It has been brought to my attention what an ass I have been."

He says nothing.

"….and I um..wanted to apologize for it. I shouldn't have yelled at you last night. I'm sorry."

He still says nothing.

My hands start to get a little sweaty. I wonder how I can continue, what I can say to make him speak to me again.

"….ummm… I don't know what else I can say. I was wrong, you were right and I apologize."

He sighs. I obviously haven't lived up to his standards of an appropriate apology.

"What do you want me to say to you Gale?" I ask, trying to remain calm and not explode again. "I said you were right, you were absolutely right, about everything. I was scared. I still am scared. Everyone I have ever loved has been taken away from me. I'm afraid to get close enough to anyone that can be taken away, or worse, have the option of leaving any second they so choose."

"I haven't gone anywhere Johanna."

"You did! You left me here and went back to District 2. For weeks I don't even get so much as a phone call. I was convinced you weren't coming back."

"You know why I had to leave, and I did come back, didn't I?"

"Yes, but I thought it was because you were still on orders to watch out for me and Annie."

"I wasn't"

"I know that now! I didn't know."

"…and what? You think I'm not scared of this too? I left my family, and my job to come here. But, at least I'm trying."

I feel my stupid eyes well up with tears again and curse myself for this weakness.

"I know" I whisper, barely audible.

I let my eyes fall to the water and see the colors of sunset dancing across its surface; I try to imagine myself out there just floating away, out of this world forever.

He sighs again. "Listen Johanna, maybe I should have told you I wasn't here on orders, I don't know."

I just shake my head no and he goes quite.

"Maybe we can just start over?" I suggest. It's the lamest suggestion in the book but he agrees and we make our way back home.

Over the next few weeks we grow back together. It's slow going at first, we try maintaining friendly conversation, we try to get back in the routine of spending time together, we come closer together as we share more intimate details of our lives. We talk about things we used to avoid, he tells me about Prim, and I share details of my time in captivity. It's not easy by any means, and it is a struggle for me to open up, making myself more vulnerable to him, but I do it. Sometimes I get the feeling to retreat again, but I fight it, knowing it does more harm than good.

Surprisingly, however, talking about everything helps me, mentally, a lot. It was like a toxin in my body, that I have finally been able to release. I think it has brought us even closer together than we were before. Eventually we resolve and start being ourselves again; we laugh together, talk, and quickly fall back into our make out sessions.

I swear with him, it's like trying to handle dynamite. He's so intoxicating and I often wonder if he knows how crazy he drives me with his expert tongue?

One night I decided enough was enough of this, so the next day, I made a plan and set it into motion.

In the morning I send Gale off to fish for the day, telling him not to come back until dinner.

I talk to Annie about my plan, leaving out my full intentions and she conveniently decides she needs to go visit her neighbor two house's down. Insisting the old women, apparently a friend of Mags, still hasn't seen Finney.

She packs up Finney and a bag for a sleep over that very afternoon.

Once she leaves I put my operation into effect.

I make a quick trip to the market, clean the house, but mostly my bedroom, wash my sheets, and take a shower. I shave every hair I can find on my legs, and arm pits before taking it to my lady parts.

I get out and spritz a small amount of vanilla perfume on my bare naked body. I go into the kitchen and start dinner in nothing but my towel.

It's a real dinner; with cooked vegetables, meat that isn't fish, and potatoes.

I chop the vegetables and potatoes, season, and prepare everything into a casserole type dish and shove it in the oven. While everything is roasting I set candles around the house. I don't have a lot of them, but it's better than nothing. I set the table for two and go to get dressed. I pick out the one dress I own, which makes my decision easy. It's a soft cotton dress, in a nice light blue color. I don't even bother with shoes.

On my way back through the house I grab my clean sheets and re-make my bed, before I make my way back into the bathroom. I brush my teeth really good, and put my hair up into a pony tail, allowing a few loose strands to fall around my face.

I check on the dinner, decide it's done and pull it out of the oven. I light the candles while dinner cools a bit.

I pour us both a glass of water and fill our plates with beef and vegetables.

Now there isn't much else to do but wait.

Luckily I don't have to wait long, because I was slightly starting to panic. I was seriously considering aborting the plan and getting rid of the evidence as fast as I can.

Annie must have somehow tipped off Gale because he comes in the front door with his fishing pole, but no fish to show for a full day out on the water, dressed in jean pant's that he definitely did not leave in, and an olive green collared shirt.

He sees me and that smirk crosses his face again as he leans the fishing pole against the wall and kicks his shoes off just inside the door.

He shuts the front door behind him and he walks over to the table where I'm sitting and pecks me on the lips before dropping a single Hibiscus Flower into my glass of water. I know they grow wild here in District 4, and they are so pretty.

I can feel a slight blush creep into my cheeks but I smile back up at him.

"You like nice" He says.

"So do you, guess my surprise was ruined."

"Nope, not ruined; I had no idea WHAT you were up to, I just got a tip that you were up to something. So I figured whatever it is you were up to, you didn't want me sweaty and smelling like fish for it."

"Well…surprise!" I tell him semi-sarcastically, but honestly I don't care that he got a tip off.

"It smells delicious!" He tells me as he takes his place next to me at the table.

I'm glad I used the candles; the flicker of the flame in his eyes is mesmerizing.

I barely touch my food, and he only eats maybe half.

My stomach is twisting itself into knots and I know I'm no good at this.

He must sense my hesitation because he pulls me up by my hands and encircles me in a hug; pressing his toned body to mine.

I smile at the contact.

I pull away and place my palms to his chest. I stand slightly on my tip toes to place a kiss on his lips. I intertwine our fingers and gently lead him over to the couch.

I push him into sitting position and straddle myself over his hips before pressing my lips to his again.

I can feel him running his hands up and down my back as butterflies erupt in the pit of my stomach and my heart goes racing.

I deepen the kiss and press my tongue into his mouth. We battle momentarily before he grants me full access.

I feel him pull back slightly and run the tip of his tongue over the nerve endings in my upper lip.

This sends a tingling sensation from my lips down to my finger tips.

I quiver at the sensation and I can feel his smug smile against my lips.

Oh, he may be an expert kisser, but he is inexperienced in other areas, we'll see how smug he is later in the evening.

I don't have exactly much experience either, being I have only slept with one person in my life. But still, that's more experience then he has.

I grind my hips against him just for good measure while we continue kissing and I hear a small groan escape him.

It takes almost all my will not to smirk back against his lips. I want to act innocent, like I don't know what I must be doing to him at the moment.

I come up for air and he leans his head back to rest against the back of the couch.

After a minute I get off of him and pad my way down the hall into my bedroom. I blow out the candles in there and then peek my head around the corner and beckon for him with my index finger.

I don't have to utter a word; he gets up from the couch and starts making his way to me.

I try preparing myself mentally for the second part of my operation. I don't want to just jump his bones, it's his first time, and mine in a very long time. I want to make it special, memorable for him.

I tell myself to just relax and let nature take its course; that everything will be fine, but I hesitate when he is actually standing in my door frame.


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS SMUT SMUT SMUT! If you don't like it, skip it.**

I take a deep breath and go to him, taking his hand in mine and leading him to the bed.

I sit him down before I start unbuttoning his shirt and pull it off over his head; ruffling his black hair in the process.

Only Gale can look charming with disheveled hair.

His body is so beautiful, it's almost unfair.

He scoots back allowing me room to straddle over him before I lean into him and kiss him gently. I slowly start trailing my lips down his jaw line, and down his neck to the juncture at his collar bone.

He smells good, almost like cinnamon. I am suddenly grateful for Annie and her tip off. This may not have gone as planned if, like he said, he was sweaty and smelt of fish.

I run my tongue across his collar bone and up and down his neck, stopping to suck gently here and there every once and a while. I kiss my way up to his ear lobe and start to flick it with my tongue before sucking it into my mouth.

Another small groan escapes him.

I look to him and see his eyes are closed. I allow myself a victorious smirk.

I can feel him press one of his hands to my back, which is good because it helps steady me.

He opens his eyes and starts returning the favor, kissing down my neck, and across my collar bone. Gooseflesh erupts all over my skin at the contact. He pauses and pulls the left strap of my dress down letting it fall off my shoulder before he continues planting kisses across my shoulder and slightly across my chest.

I try to pretend I don't feel him straining against his jeans between my legs, but I do and it excites me more than it probably should.

I stop his assault on my flesh and push my hand against his chest forcing him to lie on his back.

I slowly run my tongue from the top of his chest, down the center of his torso and stop just above the waist line of his jeans before I smirk up at him.

"Shall I continue? Or do you want me to stop?" I ask

"Please don't stop."

I decide I like hearing him beg.

I unbutton his jeans and slide the zipper down before grabbing the legs and pulling them off of him, taking his socks with them in the process. I let everything fall to the floor somewhere next to his shirt.

I can just make out the tip of his length poking out of the top his undershorts.

This makes me nervous all of the sudden, but I still harbor that excitement and that overrides the sudden nervousness I am experiencing.

I hook my finger under the waistband of his undershorts and ask one last time "Are you sure?"

He lifts his head and cocks his eyebrow at me like I have grown three heads or something. I take this as consent and slide his undershorts off and add them to the pile of discarded clothes.

_Very impressive_, is my first shameful thought.

He is at full attention and I quickly wrap my fingers around his girth about mid-shaft and slowly retract his foreskin down; exposing the silky smooth surface of his head before bringing the skin back up to cover the glans again.

I experiment for a few minutes, simply gliding his foreskin up and down. I try doing it soft and slow, firmer and faster and then move onto more of a rhythm. I listen for his reactions to see what he likes best. He tends to let out a low moan from the back of his throat when I use a little more pressure but still go at a slow and steady pace.

After I get accustomed to him I tentatively run my tongue up the underside of his length; running it all the way from the base, to the tip of the head.

He inhales a very sharp intake of breath when my tongue passes over his frenulum; the bundle of nerves just on the underside of his head. So I pay a little more attention to that. I retract his foreskin all the way down and run my tongue over the exposed bundle of nerves over and over and over; sometimes flicking my tongue against it. I see him grasp the sheets in his fists so I ease up.

I maintain my grip on him and place my mouth over his tip before slowly taking him as far as I can. Deeper and deeper into my mouth and slightly down my throat he travels. I go slow at first, working my hand in sync with my mouth; pulling his foreskin down when I come up, and pushing it back up when I go down. Soon he is slick with my saliva and the gliding gets easier and easier and I can start taking him further and further down. I quickly get into a set pace and even start swirling my tongue around and around the head before descending again and again.

I can hear him letting small moans escape him, almost with every decent. He wraps his right hand around my pony tail and helps guide me in just the right way.

I peek up at him, but he has his eyes closed again.

I quite enjoy the view however, this stunning creature lying in my bed, bathed in moon light.

He lets me continue for a while longer before he utters "Please, Johanna, you have to stop" and squeezes his fist around the base of his length.

He takes a second to compose himself before he pulls me up to him and kisses me.

He pulls back and runs the backside of his fingers across my cheek.

He pulls me to his chest; hugging my body to his and then rolls us over so I'm on my back and he's glued to my right side; putting the majority of his weight on his left side.

He picks up where he left off, planting kisses across my chest and shoulders; slowly taking the top of my dress down more and more with each pass.

The top of my breasts are sticking out and he starts kissing those as well.

He fumbles for a second trying to get the straps far enough down my arms to pull it down completely. He finally pulls the top of my dress down and it bunches up at my waist; fully exposing my breasts.

He props himself up on his left elbow momentarily, taking in the sight, I assume, hesitates for a second, and then leans in and sucks my right nipple into his mouth.

The warmth spreads like wildfire through my whole body, setting nerve endings on alert and my heart galloping.

I run my fingers through his hair and arch my back into him.

He seems to not know what to do with his free right hand however; sometimes he rubs his finger tips up and down my left thigh, sometimes vertically up my left side; skimming across my ribs.

I help him by grasping his wrist and placing his right hand on my left breast.

He starts kneading it softly, and running the pad of his thumb over my erect nipple while he continues to lick and suck gently on my right.

I let the sensations invade my body for a while before I decide to help his progression. I lift my butt off the bed and pull my dress down as far as I can down my legs before I kick the rest of it off onto the floor.

He stops his exploration of my breasts and looks up at me.

"What?" I ask

"Nothing, you're beautiful, that's all."

I blush slightly, but he gets the hint and unglues himself from my right side. He goes to the end of the bed, putting all of his weight on his knees before he hooks his index finger in the waistband of my underwear.

He repeats my words back to me "Are you sure?"

I nod my head in approval and he draws my panties down my legs, over my ankles and onto the floor.

"Interesting" he comments.

"What's interesting?"

"You shaved"

I start rethinking my brilliant idea to shave all my pubic hair off.

"I like it" he adds before I can put too much further thought into it.

He leans in and starts planting kisses across my stomach down to my bare pubic mound.

He hesitates again at my slightly parted legs before tentatively slipping his right hand between them.

I let my knees fall to the side to allow him better access; considering he's doing it blind and he has no clue what he's doing.

He continues to place kisses up and down my torso and pubis while his hand glides up and down my slick folds.

By sheer coincidence he runs the tips of his forefinger and middle finger over my clit and I let out a half shriek, half moan.

"Oh god, Gale! Do that again."

_Now who's the one begging?_

He does do it again however, very gently up and down at first, and then he starts going faster and in quick circles; around and around my bundle of nerves.

I pay attention to nothing else. I have no clue where his mouth went.

I just close my eyes and let moan after moan wrack through my body. I am nearly gasping for air, my breath is coming so fast, but the feeling is like none other.

I feel the muscles in my lower abdomen contract as the tingling sensation courses through my whole body.

I can feel myself start to quake under his touch, and I have to grasp his wrist to make him stop as I feel some strange new sensation threatening to explode from my body.

"What is it?" He asks, almost sounding concerned.

"You're going to make me implode, if you don't stop."

He just smirks that smug smile at me again.

_Damn it!_

"You're loud" He says

"Shut up" I place my hands on either side of his head pull his lips to mine.

We roll around, as naked as the day we were born, making out for a long while; both of us hesitant to move to the next step.

My body is running so warm it almost feels like it's on fire, but a damn pleasant fire, and I can feel Gale's length straining against my stomach.

_Time for action._

I roll us over again so he's on his back and I'm straddling over his hips.

I kiss up his chest and back across his collar bone.

I feel his tip probing between my legs; all I would need to do is lean back and sit. But I don't.

I press my lips to his, before reaching between my legs and grabbing the base of his length.

"Are you ready?" I ask

He looks directly into my eyes, unhinging me for a moment before asking "Are you?"

"Yes" I whisper.

"Me too" He whispers back.

With that, I slowly sink down on his length.

He wraps his hands around my hips; thumbs on my hip bones, before he takes another sharp breath.

"Oh god Johanna" He gets out.

I remove my hand from him and allow him to fill me, stretching me slowly. I am so slick; he glides into my depths very smoothly.

Slowly I lift myself up and back down, getting accustomed to the sensation of him in me.

After a couple of minutes I move into a rhythm; going a little faster.

I place my palms to his chest for support as I ride him and start rocking my hips back and forth.

He is the one gasping for air and moaning his head off now; my turn to smirk smugly.

I close my eyes and concentrate on my movements and the tingling that has reappeared.

It feels so good, that damn tingling.

I let moans of ecstasy escape me as I ride him faster.

I start to feel the buildup of that foreign exploding sensation again so I'm grateful when Gale flips me over onto my back and it ebbs away.

He thrusts his hips slowly into me, allowing his length to enter me fully, before pulling it back out, up to the rim right below his exposed head, and then inserts it back into me.

He runs his right hand down my stomach and his thumb finds my clit again.

I feel goosebumps erupt all over my flesh again.

My body starts to quickly heat up as the warmth spreads throughout it from his increased speed in thrusts and the quick, tight circles with his thumb.

He's starting to sweat slightly; he has a light sheen of sweat across his forehead and I'm sure I'm no fresh picked peach as I feel beads of sweat prickle up on my hair line as well.

I'm gasping for him to slow down with his thumb but he doesn't.

My muscles contract in my lower abdomen again and I can feel my folds start to pulsate around his girth as that feeling mounts in me again. I start breathing very rapidly, as the feeling builds and builds. It feels so damn good though, I really don't care if I do explode right here and now.

"Johanna" He rasps; his breath coming out in short gasps as well. "I'm not going to be able to last much longer."

I'm paying him no attention however and just focus on this feeling Gale has ignited in me.

I feel so close to the edge now; I hope he doesn't stop his thumb circles. I would gladly resort to begging for him to continue if that's what it came to.

He doesn't stop however; I feel his thrusts slow, but his magic fingers continue their work. Just like that I feel myself go over the edge and a release deep within me comes flooding to the surface.

My back arches and I scream Gale's name as my fists wrap in the sheets, anchoring me to the planet; this amazingly blissful feeling courses through my body; wave after wave of intense pleasure.

I hear him moaning atop me, as he continues his slow thrusts; he sucks in a breath and shouts out "Oh god" right before I feel his warmth spill into me.

He lies next to me and we're both gasping for air.

Sweet, sweet air fills my lungs as my body recovers from its recent high.

I can still feel that tingling sensation slightly in my toes and finger tips.

My body is spent but my mind is buzzing from the flood of endorphins.

After I catch my breath for a few minutes, I turn on my side and prop my head in my hand.

"I think I'm going to get a shower." I say.

He reaches out and tucks a lose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Okay, mind if I join you?" He asks.

"Ummmm….. I'd prefer you didn't."

"Becaaaaaaause….you don't want me to see you naked?" He retorts sarcastically.

"No… I…" I hesitate.

"Johanna, what did we talk about? You need to be open with me, right?"

I sigh.

"You'll laugh."

"I won't laugh."

"I…..I'm still afraid of the shower, initially. My little ritual is….weird. I don't know? Can you please just save it for another time?"

He simply gets up and crosses the room, leaving me to the moonlight.

I hear the water start running down the hall and assume he has decided to take the shower first.

Of course, as per usual with my assumptions, I am wrong.

He comes back in the room and offers me his hand.

I take it and he lifts me to my feet.

He intertwines our hands as we make our way into the bathroom.

He steps in the shower first, testing the water on his fingertips.

"Come on" He say's "Do what you need to do and get in here." He smiles at me and I know he's trying to help but, doing my stupid water dance alone makes me feel like an idiot. To do it in front of Gale… Embarrassing? Idiotic? Humiliating?

I try to keep the antics to a minimum; I touch the water to the tips of my fingers, then my right hand, then up to my forearm. I repeat the process with my left and step in next to Gale. I stick each foot in really quick before taking a breath and bracing myself before I enter the water completely.

"See? That wasn't so bad."

"Guess not. It takes some getting used to."

"You gotta do, what you gotta do Johanna."

I let him under the water and start lathering my hair with my special shampoo.

His body is even more amazing in the light.

I try to pretend I'm not looking but I can't help it. His thighs, calves, biceps and forearms are so muscular and his chest, back and abs are so toned. He really is like a god among men, if he wasn't so tan I'd say he was carved out of marble.

We switch and I rinse my hair while he lathers his up with his shampoo.

I run my fingers through my hair and feel it's finally starting to come in thicker. I twist it and squeeze all the water and suds from it before we switch again.

I grab the soap and start lathering up my body.

He asks if I want him to get my back, and I think _what the hell? Might as well_.

So I hand him the soap and present my back to him, pulling my hair to one side.

I feel his lips press against the back of my neck, and trail light kisses across my right shoulder blade before he runs the soap over it. He washes my lower back and gives me back the stream of water while he takes the soap to his magnificent form.

I rinse all the bubbles from my body and offer to do his back.

He allows it and hands me back the soap.

I keep forgetting about the scars all over his back. I am suddenly filled with hate that this has happened to him. This is a new sensation to me, feeling mad over what happened to somebody else.

I repeat his performance and plant feather light kisses across his shoulder blades and upper back before I run the soap gently over his scars.

Hopefully he will take the hint that they don't bother me, he's still beautiful.

We condition, rinse and finish our shower; He turns the water off.

I step out and hand him a towel before wrapping one around myself.

We brush our teeth in our towels together.

He leaves the bathroom and I peek out down the hall; I watch as he goes to his bag by the couch and pulls out a clean pair of undershorts and then heads back into my room.

I close the bathroom door and take my towel off; I run it through my hair trying to dry it, before wrapping it back around my body.

I brush the knots out of my damp hair and gargle some new thing Annie got called mouth wash. It burns and I decide I don't like it.

I make it back into my room but Gale's not in there anymore.

I go to my dresser and pull out my underwear and a tee-shirt.

I pull my panties up and my shirt over my head before I go looking for Gale.

I find him in the kitchen putting our barely touched food away and soaking the dishes in the sink.

He must have even picked up all the candles I left around the house, with the exception of the ones in my room; I seen those were still in there.

"Need any help?" I ask.

"Nope, you can go to bed."

"You're not coming?"

"I'm allowed in your bed now?" He chuckles.

"Oh be quite and come to bed."

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute."

I leave him to his dishes and go back to our room….I mean…my room.

I put the rest of the candles in the top drawer of my night stand and start gathering all our clothes that were strewn about.

I dump everything in the hamper and crawl into bed.

Within a couple of minutes Gale comes in and scoots into bed next to me.

He tentatively slips his arm around hip, hugging his chest to my back like he did before. Only somehow it feels less threatening this time.

He kisses me on the top of the head and whispers "Good night."

I whisper "good night" back to him, feeling happier falling asleep tonight than I have felt in a very, very long time.

Even if I hate to admit it to myself.


	7. Chapter 7

My eye lids flutter open to the soft golden rays of sun light streaming in from my window.

Gale's still asleep; I can see the soft rise and fall of his chest.

I decide I like waking up next to him.

I roll out of bed as nimbly as I can and tip toe out of the room.

I see Annie has made it home already.

"Good morning."

"Good Morning, Johanna. How did your night go? I'm assuming since Gale's not on the couch, it went well?"

I chuckle softly "Yeah, it went very well. Thank you for everything."

"Oh I didn't do anything" she waves her right hand in the air, as if swatting away a fly.

"Well…. Thank you anyway. You're home early."

"Yeah, Finnick, Jr. still gets up at the crack of dawn to eat, so I figured I'd come home after he finished."

"Where is little Finney anyway?"

"He's taking a nap in his crib."

"Lucky little boy."

"Yeah, wish I could go back to sleep too but it's impossible."

"Well maybe later this afternoon I can watch him for you, if you want to go rest or try to nap or something."

She looks at me skeptically…."Okay who are you? And what have you done with Johanna Mason?"

"What? I can't offer to baby sit my favorite nephew?" I try to restrain the giggles threatening to bubble out of me.

"You must have had a really good night. Are you gonna spill the beans or what?"

"Well….I made him dinner. It was roast beef with seasoned potatoes and vegetables."

"…..and" she urges me on.

"….and we hardly ate it. He brought me a flower and we made out."

"…..anddddddddd?"

"….and…..and then we kindda slept together."

"How do you kindda sleep with someone?"

"Okay fine! We banged each other's brains out! Happy?" I can't help the smirk that plasters across my face.

"Are YOU happy about it? No regrets?"

"None. I was so happy last night; you know, after, I didn't know what to do with myself."

"I'm so excited for you guys Johanna." She for some reason crosses the kitchen and engulfs me in a hug. "You both deserve to be happy."

"Thanks Annie." I pull her back. "I'll make breakfast, okay?"

She floats off to her room and I start getting pancake mix out, and start the stove.

I make the batter and pour the mix into the skillet and start chopping strawberries up.

I attempt to flip my first one but it just folds in half so I have to scrap it.

After a couple tries I get really good at flipping the pancakes efficiently.

I start stacking the golden circles on top of the other when Gale finally comes out of the room.

"Good morning" I practically chirp at him.

"Morning" He smiles.

"Ummm….just to let you know, Annie's home already so you might want to think about putting pants on."

"Okay" He grabs his bag from the side of the couch and goes back into my room.

I turn the stove off and flip the last pancake on top of the stack.

Gale comes back in some kind of loose fitting shorts with an elastic waistband.

"Need me to help with anything?" He asks.

"Nope, just sit. I'll go get Annie."

I place the stack of pancakes in the middle of the table, and then go back to the counter and return with the bowl of chopped strawberries and a beaker full of thick syrup and place them next to the pancakes.

I see Gale get up and grab the plates and forks that I forgot and put them on the table as I make my way to Annie's room.

I knock on the door but she doesn't answer.

I creek the door open a crack, thinking maybe she did actually fall asleep but I hear soft sobs coming from her bed instead.

I squeeze in and shut the door behind me.

"Annie?"

I hear a sniff and a forced pleasant "yes?"

"Annie, what's the matter?"

I hear another sniff as I flip her light switch on.

She sitting on the edge of her bed, looking over at Finney's crib with tears running down her cheeks.

My heart skips a beat thinking something might be wrong with him, but as I make my way to her bed I see Finney sleeping peacefully in his crib.

I sit next to her and take her right hand in both of mine.

"What is it Annie?" I ask again.

"It's just that, I miss Finnick so badly, Johanna. Every day I have this reminder of him and I know Finnck, Jr. will never get to know the man I loved so much."

I can feel my stupid eyes start to sting again at her pain. I don't know what to say to her, but I try.

"I know Annie, I miss him too. But we have Finney here, he's the reason Finnick fought in the war Annie, he died to allow his child live in a better world."

Her voice cracks and she squeaks out "I know, it just hurts so bad." She sniffs again.

I do the only thing I can and allow her to lean her head against my left shoulder. I run my fingers through her hair, hoping it will soothe her in some way.

After a few minutes she starts to calm down and sits up.

I run my thumb across her tear stained cheeks.

"Come on, Annie. Let's go have breakfast." I try to smile encouragingly at her.

"I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay." I pat her hands and exit her room.

Gale's nearly done with his plate when I sit at the table next to him.

He gives me a concerned look and asks if everything's okay.

I just shake my head no and put a pancake on my plate. I've lost my appetite and just push my pancake around with my fork.

"What happened?" Gale asks.

I drop my voice and say "Annie, she's really upset about Finnick today."

"Finnick, Jr? What's the matter with him?"

"No, not Finney; Finnick. She misses him."

"Oh"

We fall silent and I attempt a couple of bites, but I'm just not into it.

Gale finishes his food and rinses his plate in the sink.

"Want a drink?" He asks me.

I shrug "I guess."

He pours himself a glass of goat milk, and then pours a cup for me and one for Annie.

He puts my cup in front of me and puts Annie's down at her empty place setting, before sitting back down in his chair with his own.

He seems to be thinking about something; he just keeps circling his index finger around and around the rim of his cup. He pauses to take a sip and then continues his circling.

Annie eventually comes out and joins us for breakfast.

Of course shortly after she sits down to eat Finney starts wailing for her.

I tell her to eat and I go get Finney from his crib myself.

I change his diaper and get him dressed for the day before sitting him on my hip and heading back out into the kitchen.

I sit Finney up on the counter, wrapping my hands around his ribs.

I put my mouth to his neck and pretend to gobble him up.

He just squeals in delight, and then chews on his fists; effectively drooling all down his outfit and my thumbs.

Gale's washing the sticky dishes and Annie's just pushing her single pancake around her plate.

I'm going to have to think of something to cheer her up.

By late afternoon, I have completely taken Finney over; with the exception of feeding time, since I can't do that.

I give Annie time to rest and hopefully pull herself back together.

Gale and I have Finney out back at the shore line, heavily coated in some kind of skin protectant ointment, at Annie's insistence.

I have him sitting in the sand between my legs, resting his back against my stomach.

He kicks his little feet every time the water comes up and soaks him to the waist. I wonder if babies born in District 4 are just born knowing how to swim?

I place my hands behind me and lean back on the support of my arms; soaking up the sun and letting my legs and butt get soaked in the tide.

Gale is further down the beach. I can't really tell if he's collecting shells, or what he's doing but I see him bending down every few feet or so and picking things up.

After a few minutes have passed I decide to take Finney into the water. Bet the little fish would have no complaints about that.

I pick him up, putting my hands under his arm pits, before sitting him on my hip and walking us slowly into the ocean; fully clothed.

He clings onto me at first but it only takes him a few seconds to adjust and start kicking his legs on either side of me and then start splashing his little fists onto the water's surface.

I slowly spin us around in circles, and jump slightly with the small waves.

I tickle his side and he leans into me, giggling his cute little bronze head off.

"Look at you Miss. 'I don't know the first thing about babies'" Gale says to me, his feet caked in sand, holding a large pile of beach wood.

"What's with the wood?" I ask, making my way out of the water.

"I wanted to try to make a trident for Annie. Maybe it will help cheer her up? What do you think?"

"I think it's a great idea."

"Good, I need whatever you can get me that would be useable for string, maybe seaweed or something?"

"Okay" I say, as Gale puts the wood on the ground and extends his arms for Finney.

Finney doesn't even hesitate, he practically squirms out of my arms to get into Gale's; trader.

Gale takes him into the house while I start searching for something we can use for string.

I make my way up the beach, coming up empty handed.

When I make it to the pier I see they have some twine wrapped around each of the pillars. They really don't need ALL that twine. So I unravel some and make my way back to the house.

Gale's already working on the trident when I get back.

"Where did Finney go?" I ask.

"He fell asleep. I went to go change him and he conked right out as soon as I got him out of his wet clothes."

"I hope you didn't put him to bed naked, Annie won't appreciate having him pee all over his crib." I jokingly tell him.

"Well lucky for you ladies, I'm not a complete idiot. I did put him in a diaper before I laid him in the sink. That is where babies are supposed to sleep? Right?"

"Gale!" I giggle at him.

"He's in his crib, now can we work on this or what? What did you find for string?"

I hold out the twine to him, and he seems impressed with my find.

"That's perfect! Now help me line this up."

We spend the next hour trying to put together a decent looking trident. Gale says it doesn't have to be functional; it just has to look like it's useable.

Luckily the sun dries my clothes off in the process; leaving them still slightly damp but nothing noticeable for me to bother with.

The trident comes along nicely. We make the handle really long and tie together three pieces of beach wood forking off at the top. The twine holds everything together really well.

"Looks good" I tell him.

We hide it in the bushes on the side of the house and make our way back inside.

Annie seems better, she's knitting again anyway and not in her room.

"How's Finney?" I ask.

"Good, he's still sleeping. I'm thinking of waking him up soon though, it's getting late and he won't sleep tonight."

"It's okay, let him sleep. If anything I'll stay up with him, Annie."

"Thanks Johanna, you've been very…..understanding today." She smiles at me. I take this as a good sign.

"No problem."

The afternoon quickly fades into the evening and Annie flutters to the kitchen to make dinner, Gale's in the shower and I have Finney on his tummy on the floor with me.

I make silly faces at him and he just roll's over on his back and giggles and coo's up at me.

I tickle his belly and ribs, this makes him laugh harder.

He's starting to grow on me.

I give him a teething ring to chew on and go help Annie in the kitchen. Since it's an open kitchen we can still keep an eye on Finney.

"Are you feeling better?" I ask taking the cheese grater from her and start grating cheese into a bowl.

"Yeah, I am. I think I just needed the break." She replies as she puts a large pot of water on the stove to boil.

"Good, I'm glad I was of assistance. If you ever need a break in the future, let me know, me and Finney had an awesome time together."

She just smiles at me.

"I can't help but feeling responsible." I finally let out the guilt that has been eating at me all day.

"What? What on earth for?" She asks me.

I listen for the running water of the shower before telling her "Just…you know…with what happened with Gale last night, and then I just kind of shoved it in your face, without thinking about it. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad about Finnick. I really do miss him, Annie. And I know he would be so proud of you. You are an amazing mother."

I can see her eyes glaze over with tears but she insists her missing Finnick had nothing to do with the situation between Gale and me.

We talk a while longer while she drops noodles into the boiling water, stirring near constantly.

Since Gale got out of the shower and dressed, he has been playing with Finney on the floor.

We put the cooked noodles in a pan and sprinkle the grated cheese all over it before popping it in the oven.

"Okay, the cheese just needs to melt and dinner will be ready." She announces.

"Good," Gale says. "Johanna and I have a surprise for you anyway."

He goes outside to retrieve our hidden gift and I lead Annie to the back door with my hands over her eyes.

"What are you two doing?"

"You'll see," I whisper to her.

I see Gale come back holding the trident in his left hand, allowing the open door to frame him.

"Okay," He says. "On the count of three."

"One" He starts.

"Two" I butt in.

"Three," we say together and I remove my hands from Annie's eyes.

She gasps aloud and runs to Gale, snatching the trident out of his hand.

"Oh my god! It's beautiful! Where did you guys find this?"

"We made it," Gale says.

"Well, Gale mostly made it; I just helped with the twine." I add.

"I absolutely love it! You guys are so thoughtful."

I can't help but think to myself, _it was Gale's idea too._

She engulfs Gale in a bone cracking hug before she wraps her arms around me too.

She can't get the smile off her face all throughout dinner.


	8. Chapter 8

The next couple weeks pass much smoother. Annie bounced right back to her old self; well…..her new, post baby self anyway, ever since we gave her that trident.

I still take Finney off her hands when I can.

Gale and I grow ever closer together as the weeks creep on.

We didn't have sex again for 4 whole days before we tried it again. The second time was even better, the third preceding that one.

He has officially taken over my room; put his clothes in my drawers and everything. Even if we don't sleep together every night, we still sleep together, in more conventional ways, every night.

It's kindda nice waking up next to him every morning.

It was late one night, and I was laying my head to his chest when he speaks my name.

"Johanna?"

"Hummm?"

"The re-formed Holiday's are coming up soon…..and I want to go see my family."

I stiffen at his announcement; dreading being apart from him again.

"Okay Gale" I say as convincingly happy as I can and relax my muscles.

The silence lasts only a few seconds when he adds "Will you come with me?"

My heart leaps to my throat and I think I might actually choke on my own saliva.

I swallow and clentch my jaw, wondering if I should go or not.

_It's not like I haven't seen them around District 13, right? Never spoke to them, or sat with them in the food hall, but that's okay, right? It'll be fine._

_He asked, it's the least I can do, just shake your head Johanna._

I relax my jaw and nod my head into his chest.

I pause before asking "What about Annie?"

"She can come too if she wants, or maybe we can just make the trip short and be back here by Christmas, so she won't be alone? I'll talk to her tomorrow about it."

"Okay"

"Stop worrying, Johanna."

"Who's worrying? Not me."

"Yeah, okay," He kisses the crown of my head, "good night."

"Night."

_Maybe for him,_ I think. _How does he expect me to sleep when he just basically asked me to meet his family, like officially? He knows I'm anti-social; they're going to hate me!_

After a restless night, I open my eyes to see Gale's already out of bed.

When I pad my way into the kitchen he's already in full swing.

I'll give him credit for trying, he made toast (a little on the burnt side), eggs (a little on the runny side), and extra crispy (burnt) bacon strips.

"What's with you?" I ask.

"Nothing, I can't make breakfast?" He says as he flips the last piece of bacon onto a large pile that we're never going to be able to eat.

"You can make breakfast anytime you please; it's just out of the realm of normalcy."

"Okay," He resigns, the obvious poorly controlled excitement oozing thick in his voice. "I spoke to my mother this morning and she said she would be happy to have us, Posy is so excited."

"Yeah, I can tell Posy is really excited." I say sarcastically. "And what about Annie?"

"She's in with Finn. Says she doesn't want to go, but we'll only be gone a week tops, and that's with the two days travel it will take to get there and back."

"Who's….." I start.

"…going to watch over her while we're gone?" He finishes for me. "I already took care of that too, the old lady two doors down is going to come over here twice a day and check up on things. For an old lay she's got spunk, I'll tell you that."

"I'm sure that's why Mags liked her."

"So everything is taken care of; we can pack up our stuff today and leave tomorrow morning if you want to?"

_Might as well get this over with_, I think to myself. _It's only 5 days._

"Okay, sounds like you've got everything under control, let's go to District 2."

The rest of the day passes much like the same, Gale and I fish for a while, take Finney for walk down the beach since the waters starting to get a tad cooler. _Who knew District 4 was warm practically year round?_ I help Annie with dinner while Gale keeps Finney occupied.

We eat and shower and the inevitable moment comes when I have to pack my bag.

I toss and turn through another restless night and when Gale shakes me awake I know I must look like crap, because I feel it.

"What time is it?" I ask groggily.

"Five."

"Five? Like in the morning, Five?"

"Yes, Johanna. We have to get up, our train leaves at seven."

"UGH!" I moan to him.

I hear the mattress springs squeak when he gets out of bed. He very quietly gets dressed; I barely know he's there. Him in stealth mode, I guess.

He shakes my shoulder again and I groan, "I'm up, I'm up."

I go to the bathroom and then splash water on my face; that kind of helps, but not nearly enough. I brush my hair into a pony tail, because I don't really give a crap about it right now, and then brush my teeth.

I get dressed grudgingly, and then I realize I put on shorts and where we're going it's going to be cold and likely snowing. So I change into jean pants and a long sleeve fitted red shirt.

Gale's bustling around, getting our coats and bags ready at the door, making oatmeal for us to shove down our throats, shoving last minute things into our bags, like deodorant and toothbrushes.

I continue to move at a snail's pace and he's already half way through his food and completely ready to go. I'm still trying to find socks.

"Johanna, you're going to make us late."

"I'm not."

I do move a little fast however, put on the thickest socks I can find and lace up my shoes.

Gale's waiting at the door by the time I start on my oatmeal.

"Can't you eat that on the way? We're really going to be late."

"Oh, don't get your panties in a twist, Gale. I'm eating as fast as I can."

He lets out an exasperated sigh but makes his way over to Annie's desk and pulls out a sheet of paper. He scribbles something on it and I shovel the food into my stomach.

I stick my bowl in the sink and we make our way out the door. Gale has both our bags and his coat and I only have my coat.

"What did you write down?" I ask him.

"I wrote Annie a note. Just to give her my mother's phone number if she needs either of us. I told her when we'd be back and to keep her chin up. Just a little goodbye and a reminder we'll be back."

_Damn. That was nice, I didn't even think about that._

"Oh, okay" I only reply.

We make our way down the road, without speaking, in the blue hue of approaching dawn. It's still dark but light enough to see where we're going.

We walk for what seems like hours before we reach the train station. Sunrise has come and nearly gone; the sun just floats higher and higher above the horizon.

We board the train and find a small compartment with two bench seats facing each other.

He stows our bags in the overhead and sits down on the bench next to me.

Next thing I know I have my head in his lap and I drift right back off to sleep.

I must have been pretty exhausted because when I wake it is really late in the afternoon.

"What time is it?" I ask squinting from the sunlight pouring into our compartment as I sit up.

"It's after three" Gales says looking out the window. "Judging by the sun, anyway."

"I'm starving; did they offer us lunch or anything?"

"Yeah, I asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for you. It is most likely warm by now though. They started the heat as soon as we passed into District 3 and the rain and hail started."

"Thanks! I'll eat anything right about now."

He hands me my sandwich wrapped in clear plastic, and I eat the whole thing. It was pretty warm, but I didn't care.

My tongue is sticky from the peanut butter but Gale was on top of that too and hands me a bottle of water.

"How much longer?" I ask.

"Not long. Another hour maybe. We're already in District 2 but there are more stops the closer we get."

"Okay. So what do you want to do for an hour?"

"I'm sure we can think of something."

I get a devilish idea and stretch my arms over my head, puffing my chest out as much as possible in the process; allowing my already tight shirt to stretch across my breast.

I get up and stand directly in front of him before leaning in to whisper in his ear "maybe we can play a game of cards?"

I try to contain my smirk while I watch him struggle for words.

He pulls me onto his lap saying "I have a better idea" and presses his lips to mine.

I push my tongue into his mouth and run my fingers through his hair, grasping the short hair on the back of his head, and tugging gently.

I feel his right hand snake up my shirt and start trying to fondle my breasts over my bra.

The excitement of the possibility of getting caught at any moment sends a thrill through me.

He eventually gets fed up with the bra and pushes his right hand under it and holds it to my left breast. Pinching the nipple slightly and then twisting it back and forth between his thumb and index finger; like he's trying to tune a radio.

It feels amazing.

After a while I pull his hand out of my shirt and straddle over him; pressing him into the back of the seat with my body, as we continue to battle our tongues together.

"Johanna." He gets out in a gasp for air.

"Huuumm?" I continue kissing him.

He puts his hands on either side of my head and pulls me from his lips.

"We have to stop, we're almost there."

"So?"

"So….." he removes his hands from my head. "I don't exactly want to greet my mother and little brothers and sister with a tent in my pants."

"Oh, right, sorry." I climb off of him.

_I'm secretly not sorry, not sorry at all. _

He leans his head back against the back of the seat and closes his eyes. I stare out the window and watch the trees whizzing by. I can even make mountains out in the background. The sun is starting to fight for dominance now as the cloud bank starts to over ride it.

It is very likely the clouds will burst with snow any minute.

I feel the train start to slow and I start getting nervous. My hands start to sweat a little and I try to wipe them on my jeans.

Gale starts getting our bags down and holds open my coat for me.

"You might want to put your coat on; it's going to be cold once we get off the train."

I slip my arms into the sleeves and zip the zipper up to my neck while he gets his coat on.

I grab my bag and he grabs his and we make our way out of the compartment and to one of the doors that will let us out onto the platform.

The train slows to a stop and the doors open. The icy wind blasts into my face and I know my nose will be red within minutes.

Gale takes my hand in his and starts searching for his mother and siblings. I just follow, lagging slightly behind.

He spins around when he hears his name.

His younger brothers Rory and Vick are standing at the entrance to the train stations lobby.

He lets go of my hand and walks over to them, drops his bag and ruffles Rory's hair before dropping to a knee and hugging Vick.

"Gale, come on. I'm ten now." Vick protests. Gale stands and ruffles Vicks hair too.

"Yeah? Not too old to be hugged by your big brother yet, huh? Where's mom and Posy?" He asks them craning his neck over the crowd.

"Posy has a bit of a cold, so mom just sent us." Rory answers.

"Aren't you two a little young to be by yourselves?" He asks.

"I'm almost 14, Gale. What were you doing when you were 14?" Rory asks, with that smug teenage attitude already flourishing. He just rolls his eyes and says "Come on, it's a twenty minute walk, I think we'll make it in one piece."

He just picks his bag back up, grasps my hand again and leads us on.

We walk for a while, the cold definitely turning my nose red, I can feel it. I stay quiet and Gale just talks non-stop with his brothers. Asking them a million questions and I wonder if I was that annoying to my older sister.

We make it to Gale's house, well I guess technically it's Hazelle's house, in record time. I wanted to get out of the cold as soon as possible. District 4 has spoiled me with its tropical weather.

The warmth washes over me as we step over the threshold and close the door on the bitter weather.

"Mom!" Vick yells. "We're home!"

"Okay!" I hear a muffled reply.

"She must be in Posy's room," Gale whispers to me.

I just shrug.

Vick starts tugging on Gale's arm and he stubbles forward, being led by his little brother.

I'm left alone with Rory as Vick pulls Gale down the hall and disappears.

"Hi" Rory says.

"Hi, ummm….i'm Johanna, by the way."

"Yeah, I remember you from 13. Shaved head? Bad attitude?"

"That would be me." I try not to take his snarky comment to heart but this trip is not starting off very well.

"Rory" I hear Hazelle chastise him as she makes her way over to us. "Go to your room and bring your brothers bags, will you?"

He just shrugs and drags Gale's bag and my bag behind him, down the hall to wherever Gale disappeared to.

"Sorry about that," she says to me. "Teenagers."

"Yeah, can't live with 'em, can't whack 'em over the head."

This makes her laugh.

She extends her hand to me "I'm Gale's mom, Hazelle."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Johanna Mason." I shake her hand.

"Yeah, I remember you. Please," she waves me forward, "come make yourself at home."

I take my coat off and hang it on a hook on the wall. I'm unsure if I should take my shoes off at the door, but I don't think anyone else did, so I leave them on.

"Can I get you anything? A drink?"

"No, I'm good thank you."

We sit on the couch and the awkward silence engulfs us quickly.

I try to break the silence by asking about Posy.

"Yeah, she just has a little cold. I'm sure she'll be fine by tomorrow."

"I'm sure it's the weather." I tell her.

"Oh, yes, I'm sure."

Thankfully Gale comes to the rescue and sits down next to me on the couch.

"Rory and Vick were helping me put our stuff away in their room. We're going to take their room and they're going to take Posy's."

"What? no, but Posy's sick, where is she going to sleep?" I ask him.

"She'll share the bed with me." Hazelle speaks up.

"No," I try. "Then you'll get sick."

She just waves me away, "oh, pish posh, she sleeps in my bed most nights anyway. It's nothing new."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course dear"

"Alright, thanks!"

"So I guess you met my girlfriend, Johanna, then, no introductions required?" Gale asks his mother.

_WHAT?_ I think. _Girlfriend?_ _Since when did I become his girlfriend? Well, I mean I guess we have been more then "just friends" for a while now. Most friends don't do what we do. What did I think we were then? What's that old term? Friends with benefits? Well I guess not. Apparently I'm his girlfriend. Okaaaay…._

I just smile as politely as I can while my heart races from this sudden shift in our relationship. _That one word, I mean really, what did I think? That word scares me, makes things more…official I guess._

"Johanna?" I hear Gale call my name.

My head snaps up, meeting my eyes to his, "Huh?"

"Welcome back to planet earth. My mother was just asking if you were hungry, she made soup for dinner."

"Huh? Yeah, sure. Thanks."

He just looks at me very oddly and goes to the kitchen with his mother, to start pulling out bowls.

I look around the house and see it's much more modern then Annie's. Annie's is pretty much all wooden, all the floors, except my bedroom which is the only room with carpet, and the bathroom which has tile in it, and the walls, all wooden. And a television is nowhere to be found at Annie's. This house however has dry wall up; painted in earthy colors, mint greens, and light browns. The colors remind me of home, District 7, home. The floors are wall to wall carpet in a thick tan color. There is a rather large television hanging right on the mint green wall. I mean, this is District 2; the electronic district, but hanging right on the wall?

I look around and notice almost everything is powered by electricity here. Even the fireplace has a switch for it.

I have no idea what to do with myself so I make my way into the kitchen.

"Need any help?" I offer.

"Sure," Hazelle says. "Can you go bring Posy her soup? She's just in that room" she points, "on the other side of the wall. She already has her water and a bed trey ready."

"Okay, no problem." I take the bowl of soup and see there is an ice cube floating in it. I would have never thought to use ice to cool down hot soup.

I take extra caution not to spill the soup and push the door open with my elbow.

"Hi" Posy says sitting up, hiding a doll behind her back.

"Hi, I'm Johanna."

"Yeah, I know you're Gale's giiiirrrlfriend." She stretches the word out, making it almost more unbearable.

"Well, aren't you smart?" I tell her.

She giggles.

"You don't have to hide that doll, you know? We can keep it a secret."

"Really?" She lights up.

"Really," I tell her. "Now be careful, the soup is hot." I place the soup down on her tray and go to leave.

"You're not staying?" She asks.

Posy differs very much from the rest of her family. Where Rory and Vick look like miniature replications of Gale; with their dark black hair, olive skin and gray eyes, Posy is all her own.

In fact she kind of reminds me of Finney, she has red hair, that isn't of course the shade as Finney's but it's in the same color group. She even has green eyes, which I thought was unheard of in District 12, where she came from. Her skin is almost porcelain too.

"I'll stay if you want me too." I pause. "You just gotta promise not to get me sick."

"Okay, promise." She says and scoots up closer to the head of the bed, allowing me room to sit next to her.

She barely touches her soup, she just talks and talks and talks; just like Gale said.

I have to try to coax some into her every once and a while but I mostly just listen to her ramble on and on.

"…oh, and this doll, her name is Susie, but I might change it to Johanna now, since she has brown eyes like you."

"This doll right here?" I ask her poking the doll on the nose. "She's way too pretty to be named Johanna."

"You're pretty." She says.

"You're sweet kid. Now eat your soup."

She obediently sticks the spoon in her mouth

"I'm going to go check on Gale now, okay?"

"Will you come back?" She asks.

"Maybe. It depends on what your mom says, okay?"

"Okay"

I click her door shut behind me and make my way back out into the kitchen and dining area.

Hazelle, Gale, Rory and Vick are all sitting around the table laughing over one thing or another. Apparently it started snowing as well, because I see the white fluff floating down outside the kitchen window.

"Took you long enough," Gale says. "I was just going to send out a search party."

"No need, I was just talking with Posy."

"More like Posy was talking your ear off," Vick retorts and they all start bursting out laughing again.


	9. Chapter 9

The next couple of days pass by pretty quickly. There is so much to do with a family of 5, plus me, the outsider.

I mostly just watch their family interactions. Sometimes they force me to play a game or sit with them and watch some of Posy's favorite cartoons.

Beetee shows up on the third day and Gale leaves with him.

Posy sends Rory and Vick away telling them we need "girl time". They gladly leave.

Me, and Posy and Hazelle spend the day baking cookies from scratch. I don't mind because it's warm inside, and I like learning new things in the kitchen.

Plus to be honest, this is probably the first time I ever did anything that could be considered "family participation". I help measure ingredients, mix everything in large bowls, Posy adds morsels of chocolate chips, and we scoop out dollops of cookie dough on a large sheet.

Posy sits on the counter top, swinging her little legs and going on and on and on.

Hazelle starts asking me embarrassingly personal questions, like how Gale's treating me, where he sleeps at Annie's house, how I feel about children.

I think I severely disappoint her with my answers, but I try to be as honest as possible without being too blunt. Especially for Posy's sake.

When Hazelle goes to get a shower, Posy crawls into my lap on the couch, tucking her head under my chin, leaning into my chest.

"Why don't you like kids?" She asks after a while.

"I didn't say I don't like kids, I said I don't want kids."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I'm just not good with kids."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I guess because I never had any younger siblings, or cousins or anything, so I was never exposed to it."

"What's siblings?"

"Your brothers and sisters; or in your case, just your brothers."

"You don't have any siblings?"

"Not anymore, I had an older brother and sister though."

"Did your siblings like kids?"

"I don't know, I never asked them."

"Why?"

I sigh, _how can I explain this to a 6 year old?_

"Just never came up, I guess."

"I wish you liked kids, I thought you could be my friend." She says.

"We can be friends, Posy."

"But you said…."

"We can be friends, okay, Posy?"

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

She picks her head up to look at me but her eyes flicker over my shoulder before trying to contain a giggle.

"What's so funny?" I ask, just as I'm turning to look over my shoulder, a pair of icy cold hands cover my eyes from behind.

"Posy? Who turned out the lights?" I ask her.

She just giggles "The lights aren't off, Johanna."

"Well why is it so dark then?" I ask groping the hands held to my face.

"Someone has their hands over your eyes" she chuckles at me.

"They do?" I exclaim. "Who is it Posy?"

Gale must be shaking his head at her because she says "I don't know."

"You don't know?" I say sarcastically. I gasp "It's not a monster is it?"

"No, silly! There's no such things as monsters."

"Hummmm….. Who could it be?" I tap my index finger against my chin.

"Is it…..one of your brothers?" I ask.

"Yeap"

"Is it Vick?"

"No, not even close."

"Huummmm….., what about Rory?"

"Getting warmerrrrrr"

"Well, if it's not Vick and it's not Rory….it must be….Gale?"

"Yay! You guessed! You guessed!" She squeals as Gale removes his hands from my eyes.

"Took you long enough" He tells me.

"Better, late than never. I didn't even hear you come in."

"I still have my hunting wits about me." He comes around the couch, sitting next to me and Posy.

…_..Me and Posy? How much of our little conversation did he hear?_

His sister crawls out of my lap and into his.

A few minutes later Rory and Vick come home with snow melting in their hair.

Hazelle serves dinner and night falls to warm cookies and goat milk. Almost just like the cookies Annie made back in 4.

_Annie. Maybe I should call her?_

They next day we spend the late morning making something Posy calls popcorn necklaces.

Hazelle threads a needle to sewing thread and we make yards upon yards of threaded popcorn.

After popcorn necklaces, Gale takes the boys and Posy out with him. I can't help but think how cute Posy looks in her bright yellow coat with fur around the hood, and matching yellow mittens.

Hazelle makes us tea, and we sit together in the peace and quiet.

We eventually warm to conversation and before I know it we're laughing; sometimes places her hand over mine, or slaps me playfully on the knee.

I feel better about avoiding more intimate details, I'm not sure I can bear disappointing her two days in a row.

She decides we need to have a big dinner for tomorrow night, since tomorrow is Gale and I's last day with his family.

So we bundle up and brave the weather.

We go to the market and pick up piles of potatoes, bread crumbs, chicken stock, green beans, cobs of corn, and a fat wild turkey.

When we make it back, everyone's home, and Posy looks particularly suspicious.

I help Hazelle with dinner and we laugh some more, as we chop and season and prepare everything.

My suspicion about Posy increases as the night wears on. She is definitely avoiding me and she always drops her voice to a whisper when I happen to walk by her.

We eat our dinner in near silence, which is wayyyy odd considering this family and their near consistent laughing.

I try to tuck Posy into bed but Gale intercepts; hoists her up onto his shoulder and shuts me out of her room before I get a chance to figure out what she's up to.

Practically all of our last day was spent with me and Hazelle in the kitchen. It's exhausting cooking a bird that size.

We skin potatoes, and use the bread crumbs, chicken stock and some finely chopped vegetables for stuffing. I peel the ears of corn, while she sets water to boil.

Gale is spending almost every free second with his brothers and Posy. He plays games with them, or spins Posy around and around until she gets dizzy. Gale wrestles Rory, and he has the upper hand until Vick jumps in and it's two on one.

Posy just jumps up and down on the couch screaming for Gale to win. He does.

Lunch comes and goes, and the afternoon quickly runs itself into evening.

Hazelle yells for the boys to set the table, while we finish up the last touches of the bird.

The dinner is absolutely delicious. Some of the old Hawthorne sparks comes back into the room and dinner is spent over shared stories and laughter.

After dinner I slowly pack my bag. I kind of don't want to leave. I have grown close to Posy and Hazelle over the last 5 days.

Gale peeks his head into our borrowed room and I jump at his voice.

"I was just letting you know, my mother made hot chocolate if you want some?" He says.

"Yeah, sure, be there in a sec."

"Everything okay?"

"Yup, just packing."

"Okay, see you in a minute," He say's and disappears again.

After I finish packing I head back out into the living room, where a steaming mug of hot chocolate sits on the coffee table.

I sit on the couch between Gale and Hazelle, as I sip on my hot chocolate.

Rory and Vick disappear into Posy's room, which they are residing in for one more night. Soon after Hazelle announces she getting a shower and disappears to her room.

_Something's not right. _

I see Gale give one curt nod out of the corner of my eye and Posy jets into action.

She runs down the hall and then runs back quickly with a brightly painted box. Each side is a different color; red, blue, green, yellow, with a bright orange lid right on top.

Posy giggles and gives the box to Gale before hopping in my lap, kissing me on my cheek and then running off again.

"What in the world is going on?" I ask, starting to panic.

"I got you a present," he tells me. "The kids helped me paint the box, here," he hands me the box "Open it." I see upon closer inspection there is a tiny pink hand print right on the box lid with Posy's name written in purple paint across it. On each box side I see each member of Gale's family's name written over the brightly colored panels; Hazelle's name looped in pretty cursive, white paint. Rory's name painted in black, Vicks name painted in brown paint, and Gale's name written in big block olive green paint.

I lift the lid and see a simple shell with a hole in it, threaded with twine. It's a rather nice shell; the smooth underside has a pink hue and the sandy colored top has fine lines running vertically through it. It has a small crack running from the bottom and a perfect, natural hole at the top just begging to be strung into a necklace.

"I made it for you," He starts to explain. "The day we made the trident for Annie. When I was collecting beach wood I found it, just lying in the sand waiting to be picked up. I put it in my pocket, and when you weren't looking I shoved some twine in too. When you thought I was in the shower, I was actually threading this necklace for you. I wanted to give it to you the next day, but I couldn't for some reason. For weeks and weeks I kept it in my pocket. I would turn it over and over in my fingers at night while you slept. I couldn't figure out what it was about this shell…and then, the second night we were here, it just hit me. This shell reminds me of you."

"How can a shell remind you of a person?" I ask, interrupting his pretty speech.

"Let me finish," he says. "This shell reminds me of you because, look at it. The outside is all cracked and has lines all over it, but inside its soft, and beautiful. It's been tossed away by the sea and pounded into the sand; wave after wave making it rougher. Sure, maybe there's a hole in it, and maybe it is cracked but it's still the most beautiful shell on all the beaches, in all of the world."

My stupid eyes start welling up again with his stupid shell, and his stupid colorful box, and his stupid gut wrenching speech.

"Thank you," I whisper to him, unable to maintain my voice.

He just pulls me into a hug and I let my head fall on his chest; clutching my shell in the palm of my hand.

Once I've maintained my composure, I slip the twine around neck and double knot it for good measure.

We brush our teeth and change into pajamas; I hold the colorful box to my chest as we head into Rory and Vick's room for one more night.

I put the box on top of my bag and crawl into bed next to Gale. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him gently on the lips.

"Thank you," I tell him again.

"You're welcome," he smiles down at me. "Now let's go to sleep, we have a traveling day tomorrow."

_But who can sleep at a time like this?_


	10. Chapter 10

In the morning I still can't get Gale and his shell out of my mind. Since the train station is only a twenty minute walk we, thankfully, didn't have to be up before the sun this time. However, we did still need to get up pretty early.

I was surprised to see Hazelle and Posy up in the dawn light; wrapped in robes, adorned with slippers on their feet.

Gale gives his mother a hug and tells her to tell Rory and Vick 'bye' for him. He kisses Posy on the top of her head before she hops down from her stool and wraps her arms around his legs.

I say goodbye to Hazelle and she pulls me into a hug too.

Posy disentangles herself from Gale as we put on our coats and grab our bags. Posy puts her little hand in mind as we walk to the threshold of the front door.

I am completely unprepared for the bitter frost so early in the morning when Gale opens the front door.

I kneel down on one knee in front of Posy, "Posy, you need to stay inside, it's too cold out here."

Posy just wraps her arms around me and squeezes me as tightly as her tiny form will allow before gasping out, "You'll call, won't you Johanna?"

"Yes, Posy, I'll call. I said we were friends, remember? Friends call each other, right?"

She nods before she turns and runs to Gale, launches herself into his arms, and wraps her arms around his neck and legs around his torso, her eyes well up with tears, and she chokes out "Gale, don't go, please." She begs him

"Rosy Posy, I have to go. Me and Johanna need to get back to District 4 to see our friend."

She sniffles and wipes the back of her hand across her nose.

"Johanna can stay too, and your friend. Please don't go Gale."

He sighs and puts her down on her slippered feet while he stoops to his knees.

He grasps both her arms gently in his hands "Posy, I'll come back, I promise. Who's going to stay here and watch over Rory and Vick for me? I need you to help me, okay Rosy Posy? You need to keep your brothers in line for me, until I can come back, okay?"

She lets her eyes drop to the floor as tears stream down her cheeks, before nodding her little ginger head.

"That's a good girl" Gale says, wiping her tears away and kissing her on each cheek.

He starts poking her gently in the belly with his index finger and then starts tickling her sides before her face splits into a grin and then a giggle escapes her.

He pulls her into one last hug and I wave to her as Gale shuts the front door behind him.

We walk in silence for a good five minutes. _Further away from his family, and his home_.

"Gale?"

He looks over to me, "Hummm?"

"That was awful, is this how it was last time?" My voice is low, almost in a whisper.

"It was worse last time."

I don't say anything for a minute before I decide I can't be selfish anymore.

I stop right in the middle of the road.

"You have to stay," I tell him. "I won't allow you to come to stupid District 4 just for me. You have to stay with your family."

"Don't be ridiculous Johanna."

"I'm not, I'm serious. They need you. Stay. You can come visit me when you can."

"Johanna," He says. "I'm coming home with you."

"Can't you see?" I start raising my voice at him, "this is your home!"

"No, Johanna. This used to be my home."

"No, Gale you have to stay."

"I'm not discussing this anymore" He tells me before he starts walking down the road again.

"What do you think will happen, Gale?" I ask, my voice dripping with disdain, not budging from my spot. "Do you think we'll live happily ever after or something? Do you think we'll get married, and have little dark haired babies? Because it won't happen. I don't want snotty kids, or to be married, ever. Stay here Gale. Find another girl. A normal one. One that wants to marry you, and have your babies. One that won't yell at you, or do stupid water dances, or take you away from your family, or is damaged beyond repair, and can't…."

"Johanna Mason." He cuts me off. "Stop it right now. You don't see yourself like I do. You with your talk about not knowing anything about family, but you take care of Annie when you have no obligation to, that's all family is Johanna; taking care of one another, no matter what. And you with your views on yourself regarding children, you say you don't want kids, or know the first thing about babies but look how much Finn loves you, and how much Posy loves you. You're great with kids, and rather you want to admit it to yourself or not, you know you love them back; even if it scares you to death."

He walks back over to me and tries to take my hand in his "Can we please just go?" He asks. "We're going to miss our train."

I wrench my hand from his "good, I don't care, maybe you'll stay if we miss the train."

"Johanna, we're going home, even if I have to carry you to the train station, now let's go."

I just stand stubbornly with my arms crossed over my chest. "Give me one good reason." I challenge him knowing he can't give me a reason enough to allow him to return with me.

"Because I love you!" He shouts at me. "Okay? Is that a good enough reason for you!" He clenches his jaw and balls his fists up at his side.

I am taken completely aback but this pronouncement.

"What?" I shout back to him; trying to ignore the sudden flip in my stomach and the wild pounding of my heart.

"You heard me," he says through clenched teeth, "now let's go, or I swear I will throw you over my shoulder."

I huff out a breath and trudge willingly to the train station; the last thing I need is for Gale to try to lug two bags, with me flailing on his shoulder, and us falling to the cold hard ground.

Once engulfed in the warmth of the train my brain starts to process what happened.

I rest my forehead against the cold glass window while Gale pretends to be asleep.

I run a million questions through my head, for what seems like an eternity. I decide I can't take the claustrophobic compartment and leave Gale to his pretend slumber.

I pace the train, back and forth, back and forth.

_I would love nothing more than to pretend this whole conversation never happened. Maybe there is a way to avoid it. Of course there is no undoing what he said. I can't ignore it forever, but maybe just until I can sort everything out. This trip is just a little too much to take in. He announces to his whole family that I'm his girlfriend, but doesn't tell me? He just shouts out that he loves me in the middle of the road? Who does that? He brings me home and I actually like his stupid family, especially Posy. _

_Things were so much less complicated when I was alone; cared less, had less to lose. Well nothing to lose honestly. _

_Then again_, I have to admit to myself_, I wasn't this happy when I was alone either. I was hostile and resentful all the time. Bitter and alone, just like Gale said. _

I come to the conclusion that I can't just ignore Gale and pretend nothing happened, no matter how much I would love to. I have to talk to him, and I really have to lighten up on him.

_He does everything for me, and what do I give him in return? Nothing._

I sigh exasperatedly.

I make my way back to our compartment and see Gale's staring out the window. At least I don't have to go through the act of pretending to wake him from his pretend sleep.

"Hey Gale" I start.

"Hey Johanna"

I wonder when I will ever learn to have some kind of speech practiced and ready to go when I try to have discussions with him, instead of trying to just improvise on the spot.

I sigh again. "I'm sorry about earlier, I was just trying to do what I thought was best for you and your family."

"Yeah" Gale says half-heartedly, not looking at me.

_Why does he always make it so hard to apologize to him?_

I sigh again, knowing I'm going to have to say something more impressive than "I'm sorry".

"Gale, listen," I start again. "I….I care about you a lot. I try to fight it, but I can't keep it up any longer. I don't think my heart can take another loss, but it's a risk I'm willing to take."

He locks his gray eyes on mine "and you just assume you'll lose me?"

"It's inevitable Gale, I love someone, I lose them. That's all there is to it. I mean look at us, we yell at each other, you miss your family. One day you'll see, and you'll be gone. I want this to work, Gale, I really do. But, realistically, I just don't see how."

"It doesn't have to be that way."

"…..and what other way can it be?"

"I've been thinking about that, we just need to find a happy medium. A way to keep us all together; you, me, Annie, Finn, and my family that is."

"Which issssss…?"

"I don't know. We can't stay with Annie forever, she is plenty well enough to live on her own, but we definitely need to stay close. Like neighbors, close."

"And what about your family?"

"They should be neighbor close too."

"But how? We all come from different districts. I want to eventually go back to 7, you want to go to 2, even if you won't admit it, and Annie won't leave 4. She won't do it."

"Well, people are going to have to compromise, is all."

"Oh is that all?" I ask, trying to sound less pessimistic, and more interested in this absurd plan, that I know won't happen.

"If you're serious about wanting to make this work, we will both have to sacrifice for the others."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, like you said, you want to go to 7, but if my plan works," He pauses. "You can never go back." He finishes, steeling himself.

"What the hell do you mean I can never go back?"

"Well, maybe we can go for a visit but you can kiss living there goodbye."

"Gale" I'm starting to get angry at him for no reason and I have to fight to keep my cool.

"Okay, listen. I'm going to talk to my mother. Maybe not right away, but maybe soon and talk her into moving to District 4. Like you said, Annie won't leave. I know that, but I think I can convince my mother to. It will be hard on the kids, relocating yet again. But hopefully we can make it permanent this time. You and me, we can get our own place near Annie, and I can get a job, and I can get my family to come."

"What kind of job are you going to get in District 4, Gale? This is the fishing district; there are no needs for a great mind, here. You will grow to hate it and resent it."

_Resent me more like_. I think to myself.

"It doesn't matter what kind of job I do here. We'll all be together. That's what matters to me."

"You'll never be able to hunt here Gale. You'll never be able to do the work you want to do. You'll have no Beetee. No nut. No statistical grid patterns to discuss. No…"

"Johanna, are you listening to me? I just said it doesn't matter. Do you think I liked working in the mines? No. but I did it."

"It's too much Gale. Too much sacrifice, you're giving up too much."

"So are you. You'll be giving up the thing you want the most. To go home."

"That seems hardly relevant to what you're asking of everyone."

"I said we would all need to make compromises, Johanna. It won't be easy but it's what I want."

"And what if your mother won't come?"

"She'll come."

"What if she doesn't?" I challenge again.

"Then I guess we'll be making more frequent visits to District 2."

I hate that he automatically includes me in his travel plans.

"Either way…" he continues "I'll be staying in district 4, getting a job, doing whatever, even if I hate it, with you and Annie."

_Damn it._


	11. Chapter 11

We talk more about his plan. I try to talk him out of it, with no success. He's just as stubborn as I am, maybe more so.

Lunch comes and goes and we arrive back in warm, sunny District 4 before I know it.

It's a long walk home but Gale takes my hand in his again, and we forget all about our argument from this morning.

It's late in the evening when we make it back home.

Annie jumps right up and hugs both of us, saying she missed us and made us dinner.

I fix Gale and I's plate while he goes and brings our bags back to our room.

We eat and I tell Annie about our trip. Well the good stuff anyway. I talk a lot about Posy, and realize Gale might be right. Maybe she has captured my heart in that short amount of time. It's hard not to love Posy.

I guess Gale decides to talk to her about his grand plan tomorrow because he simply clears his plate and goes to change for bed.

Unfortunately Finney was already sleeping when we got home so I won't be able to see him until tomorrow.

I ask Annie how her time home alone was and to my surprise she said she loved it. When I ask about her neighbor who was supposed to come check on her, she tells me the old lady Gale talked to has Alzheimer's and forgot to check up on her so she's been completely alone and perfectly fine for a whole week, all by herself.

Maybe Gale's right after all.

She asks about my necklace and I tell her that Gale gave it to me. She asks what I got him in return, and I realize I didn't even think about it.

"Don't worry." Annie says patting my hand. "I'm sure you'll think of something great to get him."

She floats off to bed and I walk to the bathroom. I see my toothbrush has made it back into its little cup, so I'm assuming Gale has already started unpacking.

I use the bathroom and brush my teeth. I run my fingers through my hair and pull it up into a messy bun.

When I make it to the room all our stuff is in the hamper and the bags are stuffed in a corner.

Gale is snoring lightly right on top of the sheets.

I don't rouse him; I simply go back down the hall and grab a sheet out of the linen closet to toss gently on top of him before crawling under with him.

I wonder what I can possibly get Gale that will live up to his shell.

I think and think and think as the hours tick by and sleep evades me.

I come up with a rusty old talent and some help from his mother as a starting point.

My eyes close and I finally drift off with the inkling of an idea that I have.

In the morning I get up extra early. Even before Finney's crack of dawn feeding. I should be exhausted from the last couple of night's lack of sleep but I'm wired.

I call Hazelle hoping she's awake.

I'm about to hang up after the third ring when she picks up.

"Hi Hazelle, it's Johanna. Sorry to call so early, but I need a favor."

Once my plan has been sent into motion I start breakfast. Not going overboard, knowing Gale likely won't be up for a couple of hours.

As I figured Annie gets up shortly with Finney and she breastfeeds him on the couch.

I eat my cinnamon toast, and when Finney's done I give Annie a plate and take Finney off her hands.

He seems heavier and longer for some reason. It's only been a week; he couldn't have grown that much.

He recognized me as soon as I wrapped my hands around his ribcage to pick him up. A huge toothless grin stretches across his face and his reaches out to touch my face before squeezing my nose.

I pull his hand away and poke him in the belly like Gale did to Posy. "Yeah Finney, it's me. Did you miss me?" I ask. "Cause I missed you."

I give him a gentle hug and put him on the floor.

Apparently he's trying to crawl now. He keeps sticking his butt in the air and then inching his way forward on his chest and elbows; kind of like an army crawl but more like an inchworm trying to wriggle its way across the room.

I smile down at him and Annie catches my eye.

"What?" I ask her.

"Gale's changed you"

"What? What do you mean?"

"You are all soft and gooey now. Look at you; you are absolutely in love with my son."

"I can't help it that he's the cutest kid on the planet. Look at him with his little butt in the air."

"I'm just saying, it's a long way from the girl I used to know that cringed at the mere thought of a….how did you put it? "snotty, drooly baby"?"

"It's just Finney," I reassure her. "I don't mind his snot and drool."

"Yeah, okay Johanna." She chuckles.

Finney eventually goes back in for his mid-morning nap and Gale gets up shortly after.

He talks to Annie about his plan and she of course thinks it's the most wonderful plan she's ever heard. Always the optimist that Annie.

He decides with Annie's support to go out looking for work that very afternoon.

While he's away I search the beach for a few scraps of beach wood, "borrow" more twine from the pier, and then go into town to pick up my "package" that must have surely arrived by train from Hazelle by now. When I open the package I see Hazelle went above and beyond my expectations.

I make my long trek home with my package under my arm.

I get home in plenty of time. Even beat Gale.

Annie's making dinner and I ask if I can hide the package along with my beach wood and twine in her room.

She agrees and I go wash up.

I start to get worried when Gale doesn't make it home after dinner.

I tell Annie I'm going to go looking for him but as soon as I open the front door he's walking up the front steps.

"Oh. There you are."

"Weren't worried about me were you?" He asks with a smirk.

"Of course not, I was only seeing if you were going to show so I can eat your dinner."

He chuckles and pecks me on the lips as he passes inside.

I follow and shut the door behind us. Annie fusses over him saying he must be famished.

She makes him his plate and he eats it like he is.

I bring him a drink and sit at the table with him while Annie goes off to get Finney bathed and in bed.

"So how did it go?" I ask.

"It went great." He tells me. "Not to sound arrogant or anything but everyone wanted me. I met with a bunch of people and there was a bidding war and everything."

"Not surprising, everyone knows your name from the war. And, so? What happened?"

"Well I had a few different job offers to choose from. I took the most interesting one."

"Which is?"

"Which is something I actually found interest in. I'll be managing imports and exports for the whole district and they also have me as a forerunner for a new study program to track, and record migrating patterns for the fish and other sea animals; we'll be studying vertebrate and invertebrate alike! We'll also be discussing new theories of fishing tactics, which is so close to discussing snares it's scary."

"Okay, okay, calm down."

"No" He can't stop smiling. "You and your insistence that I'll be miserable here and I won't be. I found a job that I will absolutely love, the money is great and hopefully my plan will all come together soon. I just have to talk to my mother."

I can't help but smile at him and his enthusiasm. "I'm happy for you Gale."

He gets up from his chair and pulls me up into a bone crushing hug; lifting me off my feet and spinning me around.

He stops and rests his forehead against mine. "I'm happy for us," He says. "Maybe you'll lighten up now that you see I won't be unhappy here."

"I'm happy too." I admit.

He lifts his forehead off of mine. "Did Johanna Mason just admit to being happy?"

I chuckle at him, "Yeah. I guess I did."

"I have to go talk to my mother." He says and filters away while I wash the dishes.


	12. Chapter 12

Gale's giddy mood is very contagious. I can't help giggling over everything; especially when Posy insists on talking to me on the phone.

His mother said she would talk to the boys about moving to 4, but Posy is ready to pack her bags right now and Hazelle says she is willing to relocate if she finds a job.

Gale tells her that he plans on helping and stresses the importance of them coming, but I think Hazelle already knows that.

I insist on him getting to bed since his first day of work is officially tomorrow and it's already getting late.

In the morning I get up with him and make him breakfast while he gets dressed.

I even pack him a lunch and kiss him good bye like a good little "girlfriend". I still can't wrap my mind around the word.

Once he leaves and Annie gets up I get right to work on my project.

Hazelle sent me an old picture of Gale's father, along with a picture of her with all her kids from the Seam. Gale looked to be about 15, Rory must have been around 9, Vick 6, and tiny little Posy couldn't have been more than 2.

When I was around 13 I realized I had the small talent of drawing very well with led pencils. I mostly attained this talent because I used to doodle in my notebook at school and tune out their lies about the value of the capitol.

Hazelle however sent me a whole rainbow of colored pencils and a thick ream of large, plain white, drawing paper.

I took me nearly the whole day and 4 scraps of paper to get just Gale's father, and Hazelle sketched in with just a regular pencil.

I have to put my project away each evening when Gale comes home, but throughout the week my drawing comes more and more to life.

I get all the kids sketched in and then I slowly add colors. Posy's ginger hair, all their gray eyes; except Posy's green ones of course.

I make Hazelle's dress a bright red, and his father's hunting boots brown with a little bit of red trim to symbolize their togetherness. I make Gale's shirt an Olive green since he looks so good in that color. Rory's vest I make gray like his eyes but his undershirt light blue. Vick I put in a light brown dress shirt. Posy I can't help but put in a yellow dress with a little matching yellow ribbon tied in her fine baby hair. It reminded me of her little yellow coat and mittens.

I takes over a week and a half to get all the coloring right. I get all the shading done and finish last minute details.

Once the drawing is finished to my liking I start collecting shells. It takes me the rest of the day, with no break for lunch, to make the frame from the beach wood and twine I collected.

I glue the shells all over the frame and I nail the corners of the picture right to the beach wood frame and hide it under the bed in our room.

That night at dinner I can't keep the smile off my face and try to avoid looking at Gale best I can.

Once everything is cleaned up and Annie take's Finney to bed, I try to act as normally as I can.

I ask Gale about his day as usual and he is absolutely in love with his work.

We shower and brush our teeth. We dress in night clothes and I can't contain myself my longer.

"Close your eyes" I tell him.

"Why?"

"Because I asked you to"

"Oh the things I do for you," he muses, but obediently closes his eyes.

I wave my hand in front of his face to make sure he's not looking. When his face makes not a twitch I smile and dig under the bed for the frame.

I set it up on the dresser, propping it up against the wall.

My heart gives a small jolt and I tell him he can open his eyes.

His face is unreadable. He says nothing but just stares at the picture.

My heart falls, I think he hates.

"Did you….did you make this?" He asks, his voice a little detached.

"Yeah, do you hate it?"

"What?" He snaps his eyes to mine and I see they're brimming with tears.

_I didn't think he had it in him to display this. _

He clears his throat, "I love it. I've never seen my family whole like this. My dad died before Posy was born."

My eyes fall to the floor for some reason; maybe to let him compose himself, I guess.

"Johanna?"

My eyes meet his again and they're a little clearer. "Humm?"

"I love it. It's beautiful. I had no idea you could draw like this."

"Well. I'm no Peeta Mellark, and I'm out of practice, but it came out okay. I couldn't have done it without your mothers help. She sent me the pictures and the colored pencils, and the paper."

"It's amazing. Thank you."

"You're welcome," I smile at him. "I know it's not better than your shell, and I don't have a pretty speech to go with it, but I thought you would like it."

"It's a hundred times better than my shell."

I think he actually means it and my heart swells with unexpected pride.

That night when we make love, it's so beautiful and tender I almost want to cry.

The weeks pass by and Gale's family eventually comes to District 4.

Gale helped his mom find a nice three bedroom house further in town. It's not exactly right next door to Annie but it's only a thirty minute walk away; much closer than District 2. Gale couldn't be more thrilled.

His mom works right down the street from Gale's job. She often is allowed to work from home though so she can still take care of her children when they get home from school.

We all have dinner at her house every other Sunday; even Annie and Finney.

As Finney's first birthday approaches Gale and I start looking for our own home. Nothing spectacular, but we do want to be as close to Annie as possible, Just in case.

Finney's birthday arrives and Annie and I bake a cake for him. We invite Annie's old neighbor lady and all of Gale's family.

Posy absolutely loves Finney. She holds both his hands in hers and tries to get him to walk across the room with her help.

Hazelle makes tea for us while Gale, Rory and Vick rough house together. Gale has both his brothers in a head lock; one head locked in each arm.

"Gale," I tell him. "Let go of your brothers, we have to sing now."

He lets Vick go and gives Rory a noogie before letting him go as well.

We all sing Happy Birthday to Finney and I laugh out loud when he digs both his fists into the cake and shoves them in his mouth, smearing frosting all over his face.

We eat our cake and when Hazelle and the kid's leave Gale and I go walk the beach in the moonlight holding hands.

I lie in the sand, with my hands tucked behind my head, looking up at the vastness of the beautiful star filled sky.

I think about the man lying next to me and how far we have come in the last 18 months since he first walked up those front porch steps with his bag over his shoulder.

How much things have changed for us, all for the better. I love him and his family, and Annie and Finney so much. I don't even know how to express it into words. We make such a good team and I decide it's time to let my walls crumble completely.

Gale hasn't told me that he loves me again since the first time he shouted it to me. I can't blame him for it. I know he loves me, he shows it in everything he does, there is no need for the actual words, but I want to hear them anyway.

I turn my head to him, look him directly in the eyes and just say it.

"I love you, Gale."

He smiles at me with that twinkle in his eyes and I wonder if maybe I'm imagining it or it's just the stars and he says "I love you too, Johanna Mason."

When he leans over and kisses me, it's like the first time. That heat flushes through me and I feel my heart melt at his tender touch.

I can't help thinking how all the pieces of my shattered soul link so well with the shattered pieces of Gales. We are both beautifully broken, but together our broken pieces connect and make us whole again.


End file.
